What is Love?

So it's Valentine's Day; more a commercial venture than an homage to the Roman martyr who was beaten and beheaded many moons ago. If you know me, you know I deplore the pressure this day represents for men (and the often dashed expectations realized by women). Do we need one symbolic day to encompass love? It seems a bit contrived.

I've been married a long time. Fang is a good man but not one given to sentiment for things like birthdays and anniversaries and especially commercial holidays like Valentine's Day. For the symbolism of this holiday, I don't attach any expectation of romantic overtures or expression.

When I went out this morning to run errands, everyone from the dry cleaner to the building doorman wished me a Happy Valentine's Day greeting. They inquired as to my romantic plans. None, I offered (not adding that I didn't believe in the holiday). The truth was that Fang was huddled in bed, suffering a vicious head cold and utterly depleted. I had hoped we'd have an outing together today to enjoy the temperate weather as well as the long holiday weekend but he was feeling so poorly that he couldn't be roused.

So I spent this Valentine's Day handling all the household chores, running to the drug store to fetch him Tylenol and making him soup and tea. It's hardly what you would call a romantic weekend but it does symbolize what love and partnership is. And should be--365 days a year.