Saturday, June 14, 2008

Home

I grew up in Fresno, California. The mere mention of this City seems to elicit guffaws of mirth from most people--it has its reputation as a cultural wasteland. I learned a long time ago how to deflect this kind of derision. The truth is, it did (and does) have art galleries and symphony orchestras and theater and interesting music scenes (well, it ain't exactly Athens, Georgia but it is encouraged some creative forces).

For the years I spent there (birth to age 18), I came to appreciate and love the comforts of the Central Valley. The wide banks of eucalyptus trees that gave off a musty scent when the wind rattled through their branches is evocative of comfort. The smell of orange blossoms wet with dew in the morning is another. The pure silence of the day punctuated with a low coo from a nesting dove, yet another. There are many such things that fondly remind me of those uncomplicated, halcyon days. The sound of the lawn sprinklers going off at night on their timers. The taste of an ice cold root beer at an A&W drive-in. The distant horn of the 10 pm train arriving downtown. The scent of night blooming jasmine and damp earth and raisins drying in the sun. The gorgeous cooking smells in the kitchen at MaryCatherineFullofGrace's house. The clatter my bike made on the pavement when I rode to school. Al Radke singing "Funtime." Black and tan sundaes at Carnation with MaryCatherineFullofGrace. A slow dance with someone I was in love with in the middle of the Black Angus restaurant. Bowling at Cedar Lanes on Bonanza Night. Walking Christmas Tree Lane on Van Ness Avenue. Cruising Belmont on Saturday nights with MCFOG and hanging out in Circle Park. Those were genuinely good days.

Once in awhile, I really feel a deep nostalgia for the gorgeous simplicity of my hometown. I miss the place. I miss the strangely natural easy balance that I felt (and feel) when I'm there. And once in a while, I have to return there to absorb a renewal of what is essentially my life force. At the very heart of it, I am and will probably always be a Central Valley girl. While I've been fortunate to live in wonderful big cities and to travel to wonderful fascinating places in the world, I'll essentially always be the girl who appreciates small towns and simple things. Like Fresno.

As you can tell, something is drawing me back to the Central Valley right now. I can't explain it. It's been years since I've been home but I feel compelled to go for a visit. Summer was always the best time to be there--it may be 110 degrees but it's true that a dry heat is oddly tolerable. The sky always looks so vast as you look upon it while stretched out upon a piece of finely mowed lawn. All seems right with the world in an intimate moment like this and well, I think that's what matters.

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