I had a seltzer incident. I've often heard about such things, but who knew it really happens? It's like that bad urban myth that parents use to persuade children to behave--i.e, if you keep making that stupid facial expression, your face will freeze that way for all time.
On my commute home tonight, I attempted to open a screw top bottle of seltzer. I suppose that was a stupid thing to do when cruising down the highway at 70 mph. Before the very last twist could be executed, the top exploded with a velocity I can only liken to a cork exiting a bottle of champagne. It impacted with the roof with the ferocity of a heat seeking missile and ricocheted against the dash board. The seltzer sprung forth with fountain-like exuberance, bathing the car seat and me with sparkling cheerful cheery seltzer. I always wondered what it would be like to bathe in Alka Seltzer. I was in the middle of speeding traffic, trying to abate this hazardous beverage. In retrospect, it was probably a very funny visual for anyone who may have passed me during this debacle, but I was disturbed. This was a real hazard.
When I finally arrived at the garage where Angus slumbers, I examined the half empty container looking for a number where I could call Canada Dry to complain. And believe it or not, the label contained not one, but TWO, warning notices that stated, "Warning! Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening."
Ya think?
This is not a good sign for the week ahead.
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4 comments:
I feel your pain, girl! Yesterday, I started to cough and while coughing threw my back out. Don't you just love when your week starts off with incidents like these?
If only you had your co-pilot there to open said beverage for you.
It's like the warning that should be on McDonald's coffee: Caution contents are hot! Allow product to cool before applying to on your lap.
Apparently there really is a warning on windex "do not spray into eyes"... really is that needed?
Or the warning on sleeping pills...."May cause drowsiness". Wha?
Absolutely. And Miss Sarah, I have done the Windex reverse spray more times than I can tell you so there should be a warning label.
SR--very sorry to hear about your back. Rest up, pal!
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