Blink And It's Over

For all the impending excitement over today's book signing, it turned into a rather anti-climatic affair. Maybe disappointing; perhaps strange? More than that, I had the feeling that I was an intruder: a sensation that I can only liken to showing up on a relatives front step and having them invite you in, although it's clear you are imposing and they'd rather you left.

Barnes & Noble are squarely to blame. In their defense, they probably anticipated a mob scene of frantic middle aged women waving banners and flinging their underwear over their head and in response, they set up a rigid security system. Initially, the assembled crowds were lined up outside the store entrance and we waited on line here for a short time. A Barnes & Noble staffer came out and briefed us: "Here is the page he will sign. There will be no personal inscriptions. There are no photographs allowed at the signing table. Do not touch him. These are the instructions from his people." I venture, "Are we allowed to speak?" She ignores me and moves on to the next group she needs to brief.

At least I was with a lively duo: the famous Caryl and her sister Kathy. Also in line were faces I had seen at other events: Thoughtful EJ with her beautiful dark hair and Linda, my adventurous pal from the late night at the Cutting Room. There was Monique, looking quite exotic, who organized the pre-Beacon party. And many others. It was comforting to see everyone. Hugs all around.

Groups were suddenly allowed in and shown into roped off lines not unlike the snaking system of airport security. It was highly organized and coolly efficient. Sequestered among the high bookshelves it was impossible to see any action at the signing table so we bullshitted with some nice people from New Jersey instead. And we took some pictures. Here's Caryl, Kathy and me. The nice man from New Jersey took this.

Suddenly, we were at the front of the line. One B&N person said, "If you want a picture, take it now." As I tried to get my piece of crap digital camera ready to shoot, another B&N person has taken the book from me and handed it to Mister Hicks. He's already signed it and was already moving on to another book so I think, "Fuck the picture." I go to reach for my signed book (he's already signing another one) and another B&N person is pushing me along, "Move along please." Jesus Christ. I took the book and I said quickly, "Thank you." He said, "You're welcome" but he looks very blank eyed and appears to be staring into space. This is the moment I really felt like an intruder. Before I can get another word out, I am being pushed by another B&N person to leave. It reminded me a bit of that scene from "A Christmas Story." Ho Ho Ho--Get on the slide, Ralphie; Time for you to go.

As I walked from the table towards the exit,I turned to take the a picture of the table. I mean, I need something for the blog, no? Another security person came to me and told me to leave. You have now left a secured area; you can not re-enter. You are no longer welcome. Go home. Or some such. They were serious and well, you don't have to tell me twice.

I finally met up with Caryl and Kathy and we ventured downstairs towards the exit. I sensed Caryl was considering lingering for one last view as he departed, though she indicated she was ready to go. We decided to linger a few moments because I was fixated on getting a photo for the blog. More and more people assembled at the front entrance. People passing by kept asking the gathering crowd who they were waiting for. Intrigue grew. Excitement grew. The small crowd swelled. Or maybe it was just the humidity.

And then he swept out, surrounded by a group of security and who knows what. He moved so fast that by the time I got my crap digital camera ready to shoot, I only caught part of him before he slipped into a shiny black SUV. To his credit however, once in the car, he rolled down the passenger window and waved at everyone, showing the first real smile I'd seen all day. Maybe he was happy to be escaping the phalanx of B&N gestapo. Maybe he was happy to be leaving New York. Maybe he was just ready for some lunch and a nap. Who knows?

In the end, Caryl and Kathy got off some nice shots. If she sends them to me, I'll be pleased to post them here. I then lured the girls off to the Rockefeller Centre area so we could have some lunch. The girls had Caesar salads and I had some superb crab. And for dessert, an affectionate shout out for our friend Jules.