Today commemorates the many virtues of our friends, the trees. Not only do trees provide essential oxygen, they provide welcome shade on a hot afternoon, fragrant blossoms on a fine spring day and in some of the upstart breeds, fruit and nuts. The trees deserve their props and should be duly celebrated for the spacious beauty they bring to us each day. They also make very nice paper products, but that always upsets the sensitive Sumac tree, so let's not discuss that today.
In the early days of ecology, people used to use an sweet expression: Hug a tree. This is the 21st century and our adoration of the tree should take an advanced progression of appreciation. On this Arbor Day, let us celebrate the tree..ever so progressively.
Appreciate the Ash
Just admire the Juneberry
Beam at the Beech
Bewitch the Birch
Pitch woo with the Pine
Wink at the Willow
Snuggle with the Sycamore
Embrace the Elm
Caress the Cherry
Molest the Magnolia
Drool on the Dogwood
Jeopardize the Japanese Maple
Grope the Gum
Poke the Palm
Hump the Honey Locust
Shit. I have to get out more.
Just appreciate the damn trees, already.
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4 comments:
I'm thinking you have something on your mind other than trees.
You perv! Hehehehe!
Seriously, happy arbor day!
Wouldn't "Piss on the pine" be more appropriate?
NOT a fan of pine trees...sawry!
Why not, Jules? As naturalist Ewell Gibbons said in the 1970s during the health food craze in that old Grape Nuts comercial, "Ever eat a pine tree? Some parts are edible."
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