Witty Banter

With Jewels off at a trade show all this week, I've had to rely on my other
witty colleagues to entertain what is clearly a neediness on my part to be amused, challenged and encouraged to sink into adolescent silliness. That is definitely a requirement when I've spent a long day bent over spreadsheets, readership studies, quarterly financial forecasts and market share analysis reports.

During a harried and paperwork heavy day this week, I was desperate for a brief mid-day distraction and it came via an e-mail exchange (which I was cc'd on) between The Glamazon and our Director of Online Marketing and Audience Development, Cristo. Cristo has worked for the company before in multiple senior level functions in marketing, art direction and creative direction. He recently rejoined our company after a brief stint at another position and I'm so glad to have him back. He has a brilliant sense of humor--stiletto sharp, peppered with kitschy cultural references and a cool delivery. The interplay between he and The Glamazon just naturally make for comedy so I sat back and observed. I was not disappointed.

Let me set the scene. The Glamazon wants giveaways for a large trade show where we will be exhibiting. We are promoting Product X, a recent launch, and The Glamazon thinks a trinket with the Product X logo on it will encourage our customers to use the product. The Glamazon poured through an incentives catalogue and found out that M&M candies can be branded with corporate identities and colors as give aways at a trade show. Inspired by her good idea, she powers off an e-mail and the fun begins.

Glamazon: Can you supply us with the Product X logo for the M & M's? We can't put the tagline as a message because they only allow 16 characters but we could do the logo.

Cristo: We already have a booth giveaway for Product X. I sent samples to your office. Did you not see them? I don't really think the Product X logo would fit on an M&M anyway

G: OK, you're the boss. But I'd still like to do them -- as a playful give-away for sales calls -- if you think you can get a logo on one ...

C: Have you witnessed the hygiene levels of most meeting attendees? Would you put your hand in a bowl of M&Ms and raise one to your lips after one of them had done the same? Me thinks not.

I chime in briefly, just so they know I'm still there.

Me: Good point on the M&Ms. I know many conference attendees don't wash their hands after using the restroom.

C:Yes, we might as well just hold something out toward the aisle and say to attendees that pass by, "Here, lick this."

A little time passes. The Glamazon is undeterred.

G: Me again----WAIT -- it's not over YET. Red found this website for us. We can do Hershey's mini chocolates in custom wrappers -- 500 would come to only $200 & $35 for layout charges. Not expensive at all. Thought it would cost alot more. I've emailed them for a quote. Could you do copy and logo for a small wrapper?

C: Ummm...does anyone have a wooden stake handy? I'm dealing with some scary immortal force that can't be stopped through ordinary means.
(pause)
C: Yes, I think this can be done. Gifts to clients: OK. Food giveaways from the booth: No. (Wrappers.) I'm a broken man. You win. Happy?

G: Aren't you glad to be back working with us though? You never had this much fun when you were away from us - did you now?

C: You are so right. I was working with a lot of humorless women in acrylic sweaters and stirrup pants. Now I'm back among saucy, glamorous sophisticates.

G: I'm buying you a drink next time you're in town!!!

C:Thanks. I'm still having flashbacks of the department Christmas party where I was the only one in attendance not sporting a holiday vest with an eight-pound jingle-belled applique attached to the front of it.

G: Oh my -- I'm having a very difficult time visualizing you in the midst of all that. Was it pot luck? Was there tupperware involved?!! Rice krispy treats?

C: Stop!!! You're making all too real, down to "locked in freshness" of the congealed salads!

How can you not love these people?