There Ain't No Guilt in Pleasure

"Pleasure is very seldom found where it is sought. Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks." --Samuel Johnson

I think the expression guilty pleasure is utterly erroneous. No pleasure should make anyone feel guilty (within reason). There are those lovely indulgences that we might just be loathe to admit to. God forbid we undermine our own essential coolness of character, sophisticated mastery of culture and breadth of highbrow literary intelligence by admitting, say, you really enjoy a good Devil Dog once in a while. We all submerge our characters in those little indulgences that make us feel good. Come on, say it along with me. You do it too. Under the skin we are all a little geeky.

The guilty pleasure manifests itself at moments of odd vulnerability; if you need some comfort, if you require a validation of self-worth, if you're battling a batch of the blues or if you've had a right shitty day. Conversely, the guilty pleasure can provide you a serotonin boost even if you're in the best of spirits. There's no select time to indulge in the guilty pleasure; the key is hiding it from others, unless they already love you for your geekiness and have already accepted your odd personality peccadilloes.

To that end, I think it's only fair to lay bare my own geekdom and reveal my top ten guilty pleasures. None of them are cool, but they have me written all over them. They are:

1. Reruns of 1970s detective shows, particularly "Columbo" and "The Rockford Files"
2. Corndogs at county fairs
3. Perry Como
4. Farting in elevators
5. Doris Day movies, especially "Calamity Jane"
6. Cooking in my underwear
7. Films with talking animals
8. Fishsticks
9. Reruns of "Lawrence Welk" on Channel 21 on Saturday nights
10. Bootsy Collins

OK, I've confessed. What are your guilty pleasures?