A friend of mine recently said to me, "Why don't you grow up?" It was said in partial jest, with the usual affection reserved among friends. I had to acknowledge the truth in the statement. For a woman who will be turning forty mmmnmphhh in a few weeks, I do have 12 year old moments all the time. And why not? I don't feel old, my head and my heart are not old and well, if someone farts in public, I'm the first person to burst out laughing. I realize even at this advanced age, that's probably not going to change anytime soon. I mean, most of the time I am a responsible adult with a big responsible job and a mortgage and I even pay estimated taxes a year in advance. I think a dispensation should be allowed for the random silly moment now and again.
I was thinking on this as I sat in creeping traffic on the New York-Connecticut border this morning. I have been nursing steadily growing regret for my simian-like dancing at that concert on Friday. It was heavenly fun just to let go at the time, but in the cruel reflecting light of a Monday morning it didn't seem representative of dignified adult behavior.
At work, I was still nursing regret for my 12 year old moment when Jewels called. I hadn't spoken to him since he poured me out of the cab that we shared uptown after the show. I immediately apologized for behaving so outrageously.
"Are you crazy?" he said, "that was the best time I've had in years. YEARS! We were dancing like teenagers! Teenagers!"
Jewels is a few years older than me so I thought that was a good sign. "Really?" I asked in a pleading voice, seeking validation in any respect.
"Oh my GOD, yes!" he intoned. "In fact I talked about the show all weekend. We have to go again. What's more, a bunch of people want to come with us next time."
"A bunch more? How many more?"
"Ten, a dozen. Lots of people want to come with us."
I've created a monster.
Not quite satisfied I asked, "But don't you think we were behaving..a little over the top?"
"And the problem is...?" he deadpanned.
And at that moment, the cloudy guilt that had enveloped my head for the past two days lifted. I was frankly relieved. It takes so little encouragement to ensure years of 12 year old moments to come.
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3 comments:
Hey, c&w, just catching up. So sorry to hear about your unfortunate email timing issue! But it sounds like you made up for it at the show.
Embrace your inner 12-year-old, baby!
-jenfera
If you are twelve I must be .... four? (JL would still be 40)
ckkGuess what? It only gets better and with every time you "let go"....ahhhhh, the guilt dissipates even quicker. Eventually there is none at all (or so I'm told).
Tell Jewels, I want to be included in the 'dozen' or so.
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