Sometimes over lunch, I love to trawl the celebrity news on the Internet. There's a whole lot of news out there, so I only read the headlines. In most cases, I don't actually care about the stories or the personalities themselves. The cult of celebrity these days is so overwrought that a public fart is considered worthy of three inches of media ink. Indeed, the whole brouhaha of the lives of famous people has become dreadfully tedious and between the glut of coverage on television, magazines and the Internet, we are saturated with more than we should ever want to know about anyone. I wouldn't want to know that much about my own family, to say nothing of middling celebrity types, a portion who have achieved fame for no discernible reason whatsoever. But I digress.

Relying on the headlines alone grants you the opportunity to draw your own assumptions as to the actual content and to make a few smart ass comments...much like I intend to do here. Here's a random sampling of actual headlines culled from the past few days:

Oops, Did She Do it Again? Is Britney Pregnant Again?
Or is she simply just fat, bloated and hungover again?

Britney Vomits Peanut Butter on New Boyfriend
Two great tastes that don't taste great together.

Pitt and Jolie are Moving to New Orleans
Brangelina: Curing the world's pain and ills, one city at a time.

Diana Ross Too Busy to see "Dreamgirls"
Because there are policemen and airport security agents who need assaulting first.

Get Ready for Diana Ross night on "Idol"
Why wait? You can see the same thing every night at Lucky Cheng's!
http://www.planetluckychengs.com/

K-Fed to Spoof Himself in SuperBowl Ad
That will be the biggest audience he'll ever get to perform in front of. Is the ad for Fed-Ex?

Lou Rawls' Son Sues Marvin Gaye's Son
Who cares why? That's just a fun headline in its own right.

Trump 'Touts" Vicious Son, Dumps on Condi Rice
Two words I never want to read in the same sentence again: "Trump" and "Dump."

Bravo Cancels 'Queer Eye'
Is that still on TV? Who knew?

Have you come across any good ones today?