Here's a clever way to start the day.

Jewels was sitting in my office when our young assistant, Red, came in. She appeared to be in distress.

"What's the matter?" I asked her.

"I'm teething," she replied. When we looked confused, she explained her encroaching wisdom teeth were causing her pain.

"Oh, no. That won't do at all," said Jewels, "Go home and put some scotch on it."

I love Thursdays.