The Glamazon was in CT on Thursday and generously offered me a ride home to Manhattan. I accepted, if only for some girl time to catch up (and to save me a long ride on the cross town bus from 125th Street to the West side). She has poor night vision and was worried about black ice on the road, so we left before 6 pm.On the ride home, The Glamazon waxed rhapsodical on a number of subjects. When we got to the inevitable subject of men, The Glamazon offered that she was not interested in dating. "Why should I?" she said with exasperation. "I mean, it seems older men only want young chickies. It's tiresome."
I pressed her and she said she preferred a mature man. Someone who is older than her. Someone who is stable and reliable and at peace with himself. I got that. But apparently the older, stable, mature man wants to drive a Corvette and date 20 year olds. At least the ones she's met.
When I got home, I shared this with Fang. Oddly, it provoked a discussion.
Fang: So if you were dating now, wouldn't you want some young stud?
Me: (honestly) No, I'd prefer an older man.
Fang: Seriously? Why?
Me: I want someone who is intellectually stimulating, someone who wants a steady relationship, someone who has the breadth of life experience, someone who makes me laugh and someone of a certain age. And if he has a first family, that would please me. I always wanted to have kids.
Fang: You assume the younger man is not capable of any of this. You're doing them a disservice.
Me: I think a younger man digs the attention he gets from a sex starved middle aged woman. But of course, he'll inevitably lose interest and leave. If that's what it is, fine, but don't assume this is a standard satisfactory plan for the second part of a woman's life.
Fang: And if I dropped dead. What would you do?
Me: I'd probably look for my next husband. And I'd target an older demographic.
Fang: Hmm. But I still don't understand why you'd want stability. Why not have some fun and go for the boy toys? I hear this is quite the thing now... that whole cougar thing.
Me: I have no interest in being with someone who is prettier than me.
Fang called me out on it. There it is. I am middle aged and not exactly secure in my appearance. I'm not spectacular enough to hang onto a younger man. Juggling a boy toy would leave me in a constant state of uncertain anxiety and probably make me miserable. The sex might be terrific, but I outright refuse to support a man. I suspect I would have to support a younger man.
At the heart of it, I find younger men nice to look at, but if I were in the position to chose a new partner, I'd select an age appropriate fellow. Regardless of Fang's perceptive observation, I hold to my original standards.
I always say to Fang, "I'm ten pounds away from my next husband." And trust me, he WILL be older. The problem is, he'll probably want a younger woman.
4 comments:
This was entertaining to read! I'd actually prefer a younger man, but no less than 5 years younger and he'd have a really good job but also be a great lover!
Mik, God forbid that Peter "drop dead", but if that were to be the case I would advise you to forget about age, put on your blinders to looks and go out and look for an old soul. An old soul may be calendar young, but wise enough to value what's truly important in life, oak aged long enough to appreciate the beauty in things and smooth enough to express it....
By the way--where's Angus?
Mare--I appreciate the advise esp as it comes from someone married to a younger man, who is also an old soul!
Angus is fine--I just took the train in that day because of the snow.
Which BTW--enjoy the next round of snow down South. Declan must be in his element!
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