Do You Feel Me?

This is my latest crush du jour--Anthony Hamilton. His gospel/blues inspired sound just makes me purr. He's a cross between Otis Redding and Van Morrison. Check him out.

Milestone

This week Lego celebrates its 50th anniversary. Generations of creative engineers, wayward artists and challenged kids learned that by pressing squares of convaluted raised dots together, they can create art. There's a certain satisfaction in crafting something realized with Legos; if only something as basic as a block building or something as elaborate as the end product above, a world of imagination is unleashed. That alone should be a reason to celebrate The Lego.

So go build something.

WEENIES!!

I don't give a rat's ass what is actually in them; I just enjoy the American delicacy that is the hot dog. Front loaded with onions and a good strong mustard, it is a filling meal that can be eaten whilst walking at a brisk New York City walking pace. I once waxed fondly about the mystery of the sacred dog. It can be a wonderous meal.

Once in awhile I go online to find new and creative versions of our circular friend. I don't often have occasion to physically venture north to West Virginia, but Hillbilly Hotdogs might be worth the drive. Please turn up your computer volume to enjoy their website theme song. Looks like they have lots of friendly folks there to welcome you.

Separated At Birth?

Amid much hype, Clay Aiken just assumed one of the lead roles this week in the Broadway run of "Spamalot." This photo of Mr. Aiken posted on Socialitelife.com reminded me of someone else in particular...But who?

Oh, yeah, that would be it.

Useful Addition to Your Vocabulary

Urban Word of the Day: CHOREPLAY

Definition: When a woman is turned on by the sight of her husband/boyfriend/partner doing regular household chores, that she would normally be doing.

Example: "Last night, it was all about choreplay. I was all 'OH YEAH, fold that laundry. Oh yes, just like that! In half and, then in half again. OHHH'"

Project Rungay

(Source: EntertainmentWeekly)

As much as I enjoy watching "Project Runway" I equally enjoy reading blog posts on the episodes. While there are some witty and wry perspectives on the runway wins and disasters, no one can deliver an acerbic one-two punch like this blog can. Bookmark it, people!

The Dying Day

Maybe it was the influence of the winter sky, but I had snippets of this curious poem in my head all day. Its illustrative detail is equal only to its mournful tone.


Grey Evening

When you went, how was it you carried with you
My missal book of fine, flamboyant hours?
My book of turrets and of red-thorn bowers,
And skies of gold, and ladies in bright tissue?

Now underneath a blue-grey twilight, heaped
Beyond the withering snow of the shorn fields
Stands rubble of stunted houses; all is reaped
And garnered that the golden daylight yields.

Dim lamps like yellow poppies glimmer among
The shadowy stubble of the under-dusk,
As farther off the scythe of night is swung,
And little stars come rolling from their husk.

And all the earth is gone into a dust
Of greyness mingled with a fume of gold,
Covered with aged lichens, past with must,
And all the sky has withered and gone cold.

And so I sit and scan the book of grey,
Feeling the shadows like a blind man reading,
All fearful lest I find the last words bleeding
With wounds of sunset and the dying day.

-D.H. Lawrence

Jamiroquai - Virtual Insanity

I love this song. It makes me so damned happy.

Sweet Tooth

I am not a dessert person by nature. I'm the freak who will order the cheese plate for dessert when everyone else is getting their creme brulees and flourless chocolate tortes. Copious stacked layers of sugar don't do much for me as a rule.

However I am a human being and occasionally I do get a hankering for something sweet. This is usually limited to a pretty finite group of offerings. Red Vines licorice is nothing short of amazing (unfortunately, it seems to be a product limited to the West Coast and I can't find it here in the Northeast....and trust me, Twizzlers are a piss poor substitute). I love a good Southern red velvet cake with butter cream icing but given its richness, only once in a while. You can't beat real down home southern bread pudding; the rough cut stuff with lots of raisins and hard sauce simply sings. And once in a blue moon, I crave a simple cheesecake.

Now on the subject of cheesecake, I appreciate the virgin version. No adornments of fruit stuffs and chocolate and all that silly hoo haw. A simple cake with a light graham crust, easy on the sugar and light on the tongue can be a pleasurable dining experience. Strangely I have had a hankering of late for a small slice.

I went to a trade show held at a hotel in Times Square today. I plied my business trade until the early afternoon. On my way back to the subway I passed Junior's. Now if you're not from this neck of the woods, Junior's is the end all be all for cheesecake. They've built a long history on their baked products but most specifically for their signature cheesecakes.

I went into their modest bakery and immediately selected a petite and plain cheesecake--I think they call this a "weekend cake" for its abbreviated size. I lovingly carried it home in my arms in the subway. And perfection? That is what I am talking about. Not too sweet but rich and smooth in your mouth. I'm so glad that Junior's made the trek across the Brooklyn Bridge for us poor Manhattanites. My happy belly salutes the good people of Junior's.

Celebrating Excellence

Next to my friend Zen Chef, I am extremely fond of another superb food blog. Smitten Kitchen highlights fresh prose with "Gourmet" worthy photography of pristine food concoctions. I am partially convinced the photography on this blog is occasionally more important than the actual foodstuffs outcome, but regardless, the reading is a joy, the illustrations are simply gorgeous and since it's all about food, it should be a celebration.

I saw this post on the Kitten recently and well, you knew it had to get an honorable mention here in ChickenLand. Please enjoy this gifted chef's talents

Revealing

I have a lovely friend that I met online named Kenzie who lives in Omaha, Nebraska. Kenz is a young woman who is smart, articulate, witty and with enough of a rock star in her to make her cool and edgy. She's very funny and musically gifted (she plays guitar--rock on little sister!). She even tried out for "American Idol" this season; I half expect she did so to garner some fun blog posts out of it. I like Kenz' spirit.

The other day, she sent me and our cool circle of online chicks one of those e-mail questionnaires. I liked the questions she had crafted, because many of them were unusual. Some were broad and philosophical; others were merely playful. I enjoyed the process of these so much that I decided to address them here but with a caveat to you, dear reader. Let's hear what you have to say about yourself. Please copy and paste the questions below into comments with your answers. Mine are below.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 4:30 am.

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? "There Will Be Blood."

4. What is your favorite TV show? "Project Runway."

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? I do like a good New York style egg sandwich on a bagel.

6. What is your middle name? Barbara. It's got WASP written all over it.

7. What food do you dislike? Tomatoes, avocados and eggplant.

8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Maroon 5, "It Won't Be Soon Before Long."

9. What kind of car do you drive? Honda Pilot.

10. Favorite sandwich? Classic New York Ruben with lots of sauerkraut, hold the Russian dressing.

11. What characteristic do you despise? Self righteousness and referring to oneself in the third person.

12. Favorite item of clothing? Spike heels.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Southern Italy, Greece or Morocco.

14. What color is your bathroom? Some vague shade of blue just now.

15. Favorite brand of clothing? DKNY fits like a glove. Nothing beats solid tailoring.

16. Where would you retire? An 18th century farmhouse in Vermont with lots of trees where I could write. Or an 19th century farmhouse in North Carolina near the sea where I could write. Haven't decided yet. I just know that I want to write somewhere that makes me feel peacefully ensconced near aspects of nature that I love.

17. What was your most memorable birthday? My 16th. My friends kidnapped me for madcap adventures. No animals were hurt in this production.

18. Favorite sport to watch? Baseball. Come on! That's the real sport of kings.

19. Farthest place you are sending this? That will be interesting to find out.

20. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? That spotty reader in Indonesia.

21. Person you expect to send it back first? My old pal, Caryl.

22. Favorite saying? "Try everything and stop hesitating; it's pointless to live your life in fear."

23. When is your birthday? Always too soon.

24. Are you a morning person or a night person? I'm very Morning. And oftentimes Night. Let's say both without an interruption in between.

25. What is your shoe size? Snug

26. Pets? My ancient tabby, The Bunny.

27. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? My breasts are real.

28. What did you want to be when you were little? A journalist. I wanted to run The New York Times. I was convinced that I would.

29. What are you today? A Senior Vice President of a Publishing Company. Give me time. I do live in New York now.

30. What is your favorite candy? Cinnamon gummy bears have a crack-like quality. But Red Whips licorice are irresistable.

31. What is your favorite flower? The funereal sensuality of the tuberose is nice, but I love gardenia, orchids and orange blossom.

32. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Every. Single. Day.

33. What church do you attend? The church in one's own mind. That is, the relationship and faith you have in your own heart and mind between you and your respective God. But I like the Catholic church for the pageantry (that's entertainment, people!), the southern baptists for the gospel (that IS music, people) and the synagogue for the affectionate exchange among the congregation (once you go to a Bar Mitzvah, you'll adore the pure expression of celebration and joy).

34. What are you listening to right now? The theme song to "The Wire." It's on the DVD.

35. What was the last thing you ate? The leftover veal from one of my dinners out this week.

36. Do you wish on stars? Always. Yes, always. I still believe that shit works.

37. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Turquoise.

38. How is the weather right now? Crisp, cold and vibrant.

39. Last person you spoke to on the phone? One of my Publishers.

40. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I ADORE the person who sent it to me. She is a treasure.

41. Favorite soft drink? Dr. Pepper

42. Favorite restaurant? I do love Artinsinal in New York City

43. Hair color? Blonde. Yeah, it's natural. Or was. Let's put it this way: these days, the curtains don't exactly match the rug.

44. Siblings? My beloved twin brother, Marv.

45. Favorite day of the year? Christmas makes me all soft and fuzzy inside. It will always carry a twinkle of joy about it.

46. What was your favorite toy as a child? The pink stuffed bear I got as a toddler that I called Pinky. I have him still. He's 43 years old.

47. Summer or winter? Summer, Summer, Summer. The season is my muse.

48. Hugs or kisses? Yes, please.

49. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla. I don't like chocolate.

50. Do you want your friends to respond back? Always.

51. What is under your bed? A knock-off Burberry bag that I bought from a street vendor in Midtown, some shoes that got lost under there and who knows what else.

52. Who is the friend you have had the longest? MaryCatherineFullof Grace

53. What did you do last night? I ate the mother of all dinners with a friend and some clients. See blog post below.

54. Favorite smell? New York City on a really hot, humid summer morning. And Jo Malone Orange Blossom perfume.

55. What are you afraid of? Nothing....OK, I'm afraid of ennui.

56. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? Lightly salted, hold the butter. Actually, hold the popcorn. Serious carb damage there.

57. How many years at your current job? 20..fuck, I'm old.

58. Favorite day of the week? Everyday.

59. How many towns have you lived in? Seven. And I have loved them all.

60. Do you make friends easily? I hope so. We'll see. Let's hear from you.

Oh, The Bounty

I have spent the last three days sequestered behind closed doors in a senior manager strategy meeting behind pristine doors in a windowless conference room in the heart of Midtown. While fruitful and intensely useful in laying down the foundation of our business strategy, the days have been long and the evenings have been followed by dining out and talking with colleagues (hence, the lack of anything meaningful on this site for the past few days for which you have my most abject apology).

Today our meetings concluded and we all left the hallowed conference room with renewed purpose and a tangible roadmap for our future. That is an exhilarating feeling. However, I had to immediately switch gears; a client dinner was unfolding downtown with Ruebin and a duo of clients visiting from Canada. And so, here it was at last--the gastronomic showdown at The Old Homestead. I didn't even look at the menu--I left the ordering to Ruebin. I simply mouthed a request for a Bombay Sapphire martini and sat back to savour the show. He started with a tower of garlic and rosemary infused foccacia bread served settled in a Parmesan sauce. This was followed by a huge silver bowl topped by raw bluepoint oysters, fresh king crab meat, monstrous prawns and succulent mussels. Then a course of seared ahi tuna, paired with the most potent wasabi sauce I'd ever sampled. Then the real hoohaw began: the bone-in 20 oz. strip steak paired with a 10 oz. lobster tail: The ultimate surf and turf. Paired with fat chunks of asparagus in hollandaise, it was sublime. (Unfortunately, I was so stuffed full of the seafood appetizers that I could only manage a few mouthfuls of my entree so I carted the leftovers home). Pray grant me a night of digestion, both intellectually and physically. I should be right as rain tomorrow.

What a Shame

How is it that a vital person, barely 30 years old, dies? Heath Ledger was brilliant in "Brokeback Mountain" so it seems a bit surreal that a promising young actor dies in the very bloom of fresh youth. Britney would have been much less of a surprise.

It was a long day anyway. This news just added to the heavy cast of a gloomy day.

Leave It To The Master

This version may sound cheesy, but Mr. Darin could and did swing like a master. His version of "Up A Lazy River" is chock full of serious soul. His phrasing alone was superb. Enjoy.

Gotta Sing

Today was one of those days when the winter chills goes right through you. It's frigid and bitter and every piece of exposed skin tightens under the onslaught. Alas, I had to go out today to have my green steed Angus serviced at a midtown Honda dealership. I decided to walk from the service department for the six blocks march to 7th Avenue. By the time I had gotten cross town, I could barely move my frozen digits, face and mouth. I needed refuge; I looked for a local eatery to get warm and have some breakfast. When I got to Broadway, I stumbled across The Stardust Diner. Diners are good. They can be relied upon for a quick solid breakfast and copious coffee. I dragged my frozen ass in.
Once seated, I ordered and slurped down the cup of hot joe the second it was placed in front of me. And then, the karaoke machine went on. It appears that the wait staff at The Stardust Diner are actually not very good at waitressing--they are, however, all aspiring singers. So while they don't serve food and coffee in a timely fashion, they do take turns on the microphone to belt out show tunes. I heard a cacophony of standards while waiting for my eggs. The highlight was a bravado version of "Mack The Knife" by a young man who decided to walk on the back of the booths while doing his best Bobby Darin impression. It was a little distracting because I was trying to eat. Only in New York, people.

Baby Got Back

Hollaback introduced me to this very sweet version of "Baby Got Back" from Jonathan Coulton. I love it. Here's a live performance in LA from 2006.

Seafoody Goodness

I can't get enough of seafood. And I had such a craving for it yesterday that I decided to make The Queen Bee's famous mixed seafood casserole. Chock full of meaty shrimp, velvety sea scallops and sweet chunks of lobster, it was sublime. The only variation I made to The Queen's recipe (reprinted below) was the addition of a chopped jalapeno pepper (with the seeds and ribbing removed), I substituted dry white wine for the sherry and I used six tablespoons of scallions instead of four. It lent just the right amount of sass. If you're in the mood for seafood, the work is definitely worth the result.

Mixed Seafood Casserole
5 tablespoons unsalted butter
4 tablespoons minced shallots
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 ½ cups half and half
½ cup clam juice
¼ cup sherry
salt and pepper
½ pound mushrooms, sliced
1 pound large shrimp, peeled and deveined
½ pound bay scallops
1 lobster, or 1 cup cooked lobster meat
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

2 tablespoons butter
1 ¼ cups fresh breadcrumbs made from about 4 slices white bread (or use Panko)
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
1 teaspoon grated lemon zest.

Boil the lobster, if necessary, and remove the meat.

Melt 3 tablespoons butter in a large saucepan. Add the shallots and cook over medium heat, stirring, for 1 minute. Stir in the flour and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. Gradually whisk in the half and half, clam juice, and sherry. Bring to a boil, whisking, and cook the sauce until smooth and thickened, about 3 minutes. Season with salt and pepper.

Melt the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter in a large skillet and add the mushrooms. Cook over medium high heat, stirring frequently, until softened and beginning to brown lightly, about 5 minutes. Add the shrimp and scallops and cook over medium high heat, stirring, until the shrimp lose their pink color, about 5 minutes. Gently stir in the lobster and lemon juice.

Combine the cream sauce with the seafood mixture and transfer to a buttered 2½ quart casserole. Taste and season with more salt if necessary.

Melt the butter and add the breadcrumbs. Toss over medium heat until just barely colored, about 2 minutes. Stir in the parsley and lemon zest.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Sprinkle the casserole with the crumbs. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes until heated through and bubbly and the crumbs are golden. If refrigerated, bake covered with foil for 20 minutes and finish uncovered for another 15 minutes.

Excuses, Excuses

As a manager, I hear fairly pedestrian excuses from employees when they call in sick: migraine headaches, cold, flu, childcare woes and raging menstrual distress top the list. Sometimes I wish there were more outrageous reasons.

Fortunately, others are more creative. In a recent article on CNN.com (in conjunction with CareerBuilder.com), there was a list of inventive actual excuses reported. Here are the top 10:

1. At her sister's wedding, an employee chipped her tooth on a Mint Julep, bent over to spit it out, hit her head on a keg and was knocked unconscious.

2. While at a circus, a tiger urinated on the employee's ear, causing an ear infection.

3. An employee's dog wasn't feeling well, so the employee tasted the dog's food and then got sick.

4. "Someone put LSD in my salad."

5. An employee's roommate locked all his clothes in a shed for spite.

6. "Stuck on an island -- canoe floated away."

7. An employee was upset because his favorite American Idol contestant was voted off.

8. "I didn't think I had to come in if I had time in my vacation bank. I thought I could take it whenever I wanted."

9. An employee said he wasn't feeling well and wanted to rest up for the company's holiday party that night.

10. A groundhog bit the employee's car tire, causing it to go flat.

Now that's creativity.

Pedorthic Colonic

I took the day off work today because it was the only day that my hairdresser was avialable. That's seriously sad but yes, people, it's true. I arrived at 1 pm for the ritual coloring of the roots followed by the copious adherence of the highlights followed by the application of the toner and ending with the ritual blowout. I was at the salon four and a half hours. That's so ridiculous but I am an admitted slave to beauty.

While I was waiting for my single process hair color to take effect (read: touching up of roots), I started playing with the salon's resident canine, a delicious retriever named Sugar. She's still a puppy, maybe a year old and full of boisterous love. Within the salon is a small rented space that is utilized as a spa. The propritress is a funky, cool woman named Anna. Sugar loves the Anna and soon enough, we started talking. Anna does facials and skin care and homeopathic treatments. I like Anna (she's a California girl just like me). Her spa is open to everyone but she caters her services in particular to men.

While I was waiting we started to talk about about toxin cleansing. My version of this is fasting for a few days and drinking only water. She agreed that could be effective but then suggested the better way was through ionic waves which pull the toxins from your body in a shorter amount of time. I had recently seen an infomercial which sold ionic pads that one would wear to bed--through the course of the night, these miracle pads from Japan would suck all the bad shit out of your system (and be black with system detris in the morning). She agreed that her system was similar but much faster.

I admit I was intrigued. I often put myself through various kinds of cleansing to eradicate the damage I inflict on my system. I'm a great believer in curing health ails through natural means and I'd rather concoct an appertif of ginger and ginseng and garlic before touching a pharmaceutical. There must be something to it, for I am rarely ill and I've almost never had to take a prescription drug.

I had 30 minutes to kill as my hair cured so I told Anna that I wanted to try her ionic foot treatment from the system extraction agent. She drew a warm bath of water in a large lined bowl. She inserted her new equiment transducer into the water. The water was clear and smooth. Thirty minutes later, it was a hideous brown with copious foamy scum on the surface and flecks of black chunks floating in the water (see for yourself, above).

Anna gave me the legend to the debris I was apparently emitting. Clearly, I was cleansing my liver (big shock there), my joints, the toxic minerals in my system and the bloodstream. All I know is that the crap in that bowl at the end of the process scared the bejesus out of me. There was serious flotsam and jetson there.

After this was done, I stood up and had the strangest sensation. Each one of my legs felt ten pounds lighter. I felt vibrant. And once I sat down to rinse my hair, I saw my face in the mirror and it was glowing.

I'm no advocate for new age hoohaw and I'll never be, but I will say this--I felt DIFFERENT. I still do. There must be somthing to it.

Validation

Thanks to Hollaback Girl's resourcefulness, I can now prove my penchant for crotch gazing is not an isolated and depraved characteristic. There's a bona fide English word for it. Which means it exists. Which is sort of a relief.

Krukolibidinous (KROO-koh-li-BID-i-nus) - Crotch-watching; having one's gaze fixated on the crotch.