Snow-Tastic

We had one of the worst blizzards to hit Manhattan in recorded history (or so New York 1 News says). 20 inches of snow and 50 mph winds engulfed this gentle island, swirling large quantities of icy flakes onto the City overnight.

I had a dentist appointment in Chelsea at 9:00 am today. For those of you not acquainted with the geography of the Island, that meant I had to go 138 blocks downtown to get to my appointment. I never break appointments and I am never late to appointments so to accommodate the inclement weather, I left my building at 7:45 am.

The roads had yet to be plowed. The sidewalks were even worse. Stepping out onto the street, I stepped into a snowdrift and dropped in past my knees. Walking in the middle of the street was the only recourse to getting to the subway. It seemed a sound idea--there was no traffic on the street at all and many other hapless pedestrians attempted to do the same thing.

When I reached the subway, the steps were coated with snow and ice. I gripped the railing with both hands and inched my way down, like a hiker would descend Everest. Once in the station, I was exasperated to see that the station floor and the subway platform (this being indoor) was covered in a layer of snow. I went to the station agent, sequestered behind a thick layer of glass in the station booth. When I complained about the liability of injury sure to occur and the possible lawsuits that would be inflicted on the MTA, she nodded indifferently. Really? Really?!?

I made my way to Chelsea. Upon exiting the subway, I was greeted with a winter wonderland.

The roads were empty so I walked down the center of 19th Street, passing a few people making their way down the street, some on skis. At one point, a snowplow came up behind me and I clamored onto a snowdrift to get out of the way. I became trapped in the drift (entrenched mid-thigh) but the charity of a large, handsome young man who offered me his hand soon had me safely on a small portion of cleared sidewalk. I pressed on, arriving at my dentist's office at 8:50 am. The steps were covered with snow. The lights were off. The door was locked. Then my cell phone rang-the receptionist was calling (presumably from her home) to tell me that the dental office was closed and they would need to reschedule my appointment. Really? Really?!?

I continued to walk to 5th Avenue. There were a few stalwarts laboring up the street. I saw a man and his young daughter sledding down 6th Avenue. An errant plow made its way down 21st Street. I stole into the only open establishment I could find: one of those New York delis that offers you everything from egg sandwiches to pizza to filet mignon dinners. When I walked in, there were only two people working there. The food cases, usually aplenty with sushi and sandwiches and pre-mixed salads, was empty. I ordered a bagel and coffee. I tried to buy a NY Post but the weather had prevented any newspapers from being delivered so instead, I read a week old Village Voice.

I ventured out again. By now, there were copious workers on the street clearing sidewalks and spreading salt. I made my way to 23rd Street and caught the subway to the Upper West Side. After all my morning duress I needed a manicure.

No. Such. Luck.

The subway steps at 86th Street were even more treacherous. I saw a woman slide down a portion of them and fall hard. Several commuters (including me) helped her up. She seemed in pain. In my thoughtless wisdom I said to her, "Sue the MTA." She nodded. I hope she'll do it, poor thing.

On the streets of the Upper Westside, I was alarmed to see the streets looking even more dismal than in my neighborhood. The snowdrifts at the intersections were voluminous. Scaling them required ice hooks. I wandered around the neighborhood but a great deal of establishments were closed. I tried three nail salons--all closed. I went to my usual cafe for coffee--closed. The news stand was closed. The groceries were all closed. I finally stumbled upon Zabar's, mercifully open. I purchased some items there to make dinner and headed home.

After carefully scaling the steps at the subway, I headed home. I do like the snow but please--what's an urbanite to do on a day like this?