I don't hate many things in life. That's a strong word. I'm really a rather carefree soul. However, over the years I have accumulated a list of very specific things that really and truly make me crazy. Because these items have remained constant, I'm prepared to cite my top 20 list:1. People who refer to themselves in the third person. Trust me, lesser persons than Beyonce have done so. Copiously.
2. Sluglike dill pickle spears trundled alongside a takeout sandwich in paper.
3. People who love to talk, talk, talk but simply have no interest in listening. They are usually in sales.
4. Those assholes in my neighborhood who refuse to pick up dogshit. Shame on all of you.
5. Tailgaters on the Bruckner Expressway.
6. Those vapid New York types who lollygag in front of the doors at Barnes & Noble while in the middle of a self absorbed conversation while making the rest of us wait to enter the freaking store.
7. Tomatoes. I want to love you, I do, but I can't.
8. Sarah Palin. I just know she's evil incarnate.
9. White middle aged men. In BMWs. From New Jersey.
10. Bangers and mash.
11. That sweet Indian woman at my eyebrow threading salon who always insists "You should take care of that moustache".
12. Hot flashes.
13. Rain. I know rain contributes to the balance of the planet, the evolution of the ecosystem. photosynthesis and the progression of the seasons... but I still hate it.
14. Plastic surgery guilt. I hate it when people tell me it's time for me to invest in Botox/Restalyne/lifts/tucks/etc...I know I look like an Aztec ruin but I also know that I look like me. And I'd like to continue to look like me. I'm no beauty, but I look like ME.
15. The toilet paper rolling out on the underside.
16. Freaking C-SPAN. Fang loves to watch C-SPAN. To me, it's like paint drying.
17. The bedding section at Bed, Bath & Beyond. Always underwhelming.
18. That wet dog smell on the subway.
19. Darien doyennes who back up the order line at the morning Starbuck's stop by ordering non-fat, chai decaf bullshit beverages and then don't have the correct change but insist on counting the coins out from the bottom of their Birkin bags.
20. The Cross Bronx Expressway. In my life story, I expect this to be my Waterloo.
4 comments:
Well, I like to think so, my spamalicious friend.
NEW. CONSTRUCTION. IN. GEORGIA. It is 2010 and I can't believe they still pull the same crap they always have. It's 2010 people, more people are moving here (don't know why, but they are), deal with it.
Oh, and I hate spam and spammers, too.
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