High Infidelity

High Infidelity: Rachel Uchitel Joins Ranks of Other Women

This whole Tiger Woods saga has me shaking my head yet I still find it equally intriguing. It's hardly a new situation but it begs the question--why do men cheat? Why aren't we women so fascinating that we can't retain the attention of our partners? I've sort of given up trying to understand why. The old cow gets dull, I get this tiresome metaphor. The thrill of the chase renews certain senses, I understand. Does loyalty count? Yes, I so think so. Is boredom a factor? Of course. I get it, I do.

(And for the record, I'm not suggesting this is one sided. Women are no better--they certainly cheat too. Yet for some reason, the focus seems squarely zeroed in on famous cheating men).

I guess I can understand why people might be tempted to cheat. You're with the same person for 20 years, you feel as attractive as a rumpled dish towel, with a sense that you will never feel the exhilarated thrill of flirtation again in your life. You might as well buy mom jeans, stop moisturizing, stop waxing, let yourself slowly go and be happy that someone, my God, anyone loves you despite the fact that you feel as attractive as a rumpled dish towel. It's a rapid acceptance that your life is slowing eroding and that you have one foot squarely in the grave.

I don't understand why one should capitulate so easily. A person likes to feel they are still attractive to people, regardless of advancing years. To get the odd nibble of interest is intriguing and reminds you that you're not quite dead yet. That sometimes, there may be someone left on the planet who is actually interested in, ya know, fucking you.

I got in a cab a few days ago. The driver was young, barely out of his twenties. He asked me my age. When I responded that I was closing in on 50, he said, "I thought you were around 31. You're hot." Uh, thanks (and please, don't bullshit a bullshitter). I've felt like an Aztec relic lately, so this is a nice validation even if it was bullshit. Still, we enjoyed a pleasant flirtation for the duration of the ride. It made me feel quite a bit better.

So as the high powered media beam shines down on Tiger and his multiple transgressions, perhaps it makes sense to put cheating in prospective. I don't have a clear answer but at the heart of it, I do believe in loyalty to ones partner. Still, I always appreciated Bill Clinton's definition of cheating. Not quite denial of actions, not quite an admission of fucking. There's a reason they called him Slick Willy.

And as for Tiger and the waiting media...you better be spinning like a top.