In Praise of Kansas City

I've been to Kansas City a few times and every time I've been there, I've relished their spectacular barbecue. We had New York City take out barbecue last night and it was so completely unspectacular that I found myself hankering for the down home quality of the finger-licking, triple napkin goodness of KC barbecue. Here's some doggerel celebrating what I think is the hometown of the greatest barbecue on the planet.

I've sampled a great deal of barbecue
In my worldwide travels and treks
Some of it earns warm plaudits
And some of it is outright dreck

Cities are defined by cuisine types
And for BBQ, the front runners are clear
Dallas and Memphis are up there, but
Kansas City's the big winner here

They know how to dry rub a rack
To enhance flavor beyond all compare
Their wood smoking techniques--audacious!
Only maverick KC would so dare!

They like their sauce hot and spicy
Or thick with paprika and molasses
But every single recipe, I swear
will knock you back on your asses

And don't get me started on meat-type
Beef, chicken and pork just to start
Lamb and turkey and thick brats
Goat, possum, even chicken hearts!

Sausage and baby back riblets
Onions, red peppers and sweet corn
The array is so utterly fantastic
I consider it essential food porn

KC's side dishes equally hold up
I adore their sweet spicy greens
But please pause and sample
KC's cornbread, slaw and baked beans

Nothing beats KC's fine barbecue
In me, you have a convert for life
Enjoy the perfections of its offerings
Don't forget the handi-wipes!