C-C-C-Changes

Perhaps it's the influence of the presidential political campaign this year, but the personal theme of change, renewal and reinvention is really speaking to me right now. I'm not afraid of change--in fact, I embrace it. Fear of ennui is a much greater enemy. As the new year emerges, I'm feeling, so strongly, that the time seems nigh to incorporate change into all aspects of my life.

Don't confuse this with New Year's resolutions. Resolutions are bullshit and they essentially set you up for certain failure. That's absolutely not good for your self esteem (which is the reason you propose the resolutions in the first place). No, I feel fully ready for pivotal life changes and the only barrier is me.

There are changes in the world and in my business that are evolving quickly. I find them interesting, if not exhilarating. They require me to learn new skills and to broaden my understanding of things I don't know squat about. That's not daunting; in fact, my brain is re-engerized at the prospect that I can still be excited about learning. I don't want to be complacent--I want to be challenged.

My mind invigorated, my body needs to follow suit.

In the past year, I have become physically sedentary. It horrifies me. I do not recognize the skin I'm in right now. My spirit and mind are nimble and I physically want to follow suit. Alas, in 2008, I became very focused on work. Driving to work, sitting on my fat ass all day in the office and getting home late only encouraged my lack of activity. I can't actually blame my job for this; I blame me. I became complacent and lethargic about my well being. I'm so fed up with the way I feel now, that I need to physically make a change commensurate with the change already embraced by my mind and spirit.

There's a small gym in the new office we're moving to. There's a locker room and the membership is $10 a month. I'm signing up the day we move in. I've pushed Fang to start playing tennis with me again. We used to play five nights a week and I've insisted he come along for the physical rejuvenation with me. And a change in diet. If he doesn't, I will leave him in the dust behind me. Nothing is stopping me now. I am ready for a change.

Yeah, yeah. Talk is cheap. You have to demonstrate honest intent, right?

Today was a classic case in point. Every New Years Day I tend to loll around the house, watching bad television marathons and mentally lamenting my bad traits. That sucks. I was fearful of this pattern so when my friend Christo and I agreed for a day out together sometime after Christmas, I purposely selected New Years Day. I had to break the pattern.

It was a very cold day--20 degrees and bitter. I donned several layers (already adding to my bulk), furry boots, a big fur hat and headed out. The sun was clear and bright, but the occasional wind gusts were brutal. No matter--I felt rejuvenated marching along Broadway, trudging my trunk-like legs with forced speed. It felt so good. The truth was, I just wanted to walk and take the cold air in my lungs.

We had brunch and then walked the Central Park thruway between the West and East sides of Manhattan. We went to the Guggenheim museum and while some of the exhibits were interesting, I was more intent on conversing with my delightful friend and scaling up the many winding floors of the museum.

We then walked back through Central Park and stopped for a coffee. We walked and talked some more. It was such a lovely day and with someone I greatly enjoy. I felt tempted to continue walking all the way uptown, hypothermia be damned.

Step one: I have already altered one pattern. I intend to change another tomorrow.