It was one of those days at work where I was barely able to step away from my desk all day. I didn't get out for lunch and when 5:30 came, I was good and ready to leave. I went to the ladies room to refresh myself before the drive home.I went into the ladies room and when I was using one stall, I heard someone enter the stall next to mine. (This visitor being much more conscientious than I am for I heard the sound of a sanitary paper toilet seat cover being dispensed). I finished in the stall and went to the sink to wash my hands. And then I made the mistake of looking into the mirror.
The bathroom of our Connecticut office features incredibly unflattering lighting (don't get me started on THAT subject). When I saw the dregs of the make up I applied 12 hours prior in the bleak reflection of the mirror, I knew some restoration would need to take place before I could go back out in public. I dug out some emergency supplies from my purse and started touching up my face.
Then I heard the sound of toilet paper being unfurled and balled up nervously in the other stall occupant's hands. Oh, I know that moment. You just need two seconds of alone time to pee in private (or something else) and there's that awkwardness (or vapor lock) that intervenes when someone else is puttering around the sink, taking their sweet time. When in the same situation, I usually get past this moment by decisively (and falsely) flushing the toilet. But the stall occupant did nothing but clear her throat and roll out/ball up more toilet paper.
*Crickets*
I was totally sympathetic to my bathroom mate but I had to fix my face. I knew it was risky but I finally spoke out (using what Fang calls my lack of self editing). "I'll be out of here in just a sec," I said cheerfully. There was a dead shocked silence and for a moment I imagined that I had just seriously offended one of the Mayflower descendants that work in the office.
Suddenly laughter erupted. Mercifully, it was one of my delightful colleagues who I don't have to self edit for. I fear I may have embarrassed her but we moved onto one of those enjoyable bathroom dialogues about vapor lock and tricks we engage in to alleviate it.
When will I learn to keep my mouth shut?
3 comments:
Oh CW, you're so NORMAL! I'm all overly concerned with making everything alright for everyone and would have been falling all over myself either hurrying out of there without fixing my face or making all kinds of random noises (coughing, running water, whistling) to make the other person comfortable. You're lucky to be so...normal!
Why are we afraid to pee in front of people?? I mean, I try to avoid any noise myself when someone else is in the room. But don't we all pee? I think that today I'm going to be careless and pee freely, no matter who is in the room, lol.
Peeing I can usually handle...it's the "anything else" that will have me contorted on my perch like a Chinese acrobat....unless of course, some woman comes in on her cell phone. I then feel it is my duty to all other women in the world to be as malodorous as possible.
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