Simple Truisms

"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them". ---Galileo

There are many gray areas in thinking. In most matters, we are persuaded by opinion; we are swayed by majority fact. I like the notion that there are few irrefutable absolutes beyond life, death, taxes and baseball box scores.

In my shallow little world, I have started to collect those truisms that I believe are pretty finite beyond the quatre of items cited above. I am more than certain there are many more of these and I count on you all to inform and enlighten me as to your experience.

From my vantage point, however (because don't you know, it's all about me), I have found the following things prove universally true:

-Most men will be struck silent, distressed and fearful should you simply invoke the film "Deliverance." This is especially solidified when you quote from the film. The line, "You have a purty mouth, boy" is especially impactful.

-It's not a good idea to go grocery shopping on an empty stomach.

-If you're wearing a fantastic pair of shoes, you will feel invincible.

-Going for the librarian look (with the subtle hint of hair loosening from an uptight bun combined with glasses flung from face in one dramatic gesture) will render the object of your affection absolute powerless. Shout out to Van Halen ("Hot For Teacher" altered multiple generations).

-You will not lose weight if you starve yourself. It is mathematically impossible. Should you nourish yourself in the starvation cycle, the weight will return. If you starve yourself yet deny yourself the option of nourishment, you could likely die. It took nearly half a century to get clear on this; moderation in food and exercise will keep you healthy.

-If you call someone a "stupid fucktard" to their face, there is a 46.2% chance that they will beat the shit out of you.

-Courtesy flushing works.

-White sport uniforms were a stupid idea.

-Never believe anyone who tells you they love you when they have been doing Cuervo shots for the past two hours.

-Airline travel is still the safest proven means of travel in the world.

-No one actually looks good in orange.

-Patriotism is not a constant theme in one's life but rather a concept best embraced in moments of correct crisis.

-D Minor really is the saddest chord of all.

-No one actually knows what happens when we die. And it kills us not to know what the answer should be. It kills us because we doubt what the Bible decisively tells us what it should be.

Anything to add?