The Seven Words

While we were sequestered in Aunt Bert's cottage this weekend while the rains poured down, we discussed a whole myriad of subjects: those bums, the Mets; that vacant bum, former NY governor George Pataki; that whoring bum, former NY governor Eliot Spitzer; that useless bum, Mets Pitcher Pedro Martinez; that witty bum, Jon Stewart; that dumbass bum, George Bush. Somehow the conversation migrated to the late comedian George Carlin.

In his youth, Fang was quite an aficionado of Carlin's work. He recited several tame monologues to the rapt audience. Then he said, "Does anyone remember Carlin's famous monologue about the seven words you can't say on television?"

I remembered it, but remained silent. So did Basia. Suddenly Aunt Bert blurted out, "What is that word COONT?"

Coont? And where did that come from in the middle of this conversation?

"What the heck are you talking about?" I asked this delightful 87 year old woman.

"Well, I've seen this word but I don't know what it means. Is it a dirty word? Does it mean anything to you people?" she asked.

Carefully, I ventured, "How do you spell it?"

"C-U-N-T," she replied merrily, "is it a German word?"

I haven't laughed so hard in ages.