You guessed it, people. Last week got too busy, the week was chock full of work and well, I got lazy and left the laundry for my return from the weekend. Last night, the Mets game caught my attention and before I know it, the laundry was left undone. Upon awakening today, I foraged around my underwear drawer for something to cover my bits and for crissakes, don't you know I was down to the thong pile. I knew it was going to be close to 96 degrees today so I was bent on wearing a dress but could I get away with a thong under it? Aw fuck it, it was either that or a pair of Fang's briefs and the second option was just too freaky. I trundled on my most modest thong and shuffled out the door.
The air was still on the street as I walked the three blocks to my garage. I was laden down with briefcase, purse and a separate boutique shopping bag with my lunch in it. Out of nowhere a freakish gust of wind sailed down the street and on cue, it caught the back of my dress and flipped it up. Instinctively, I dropped all three of my bags on the street and frantically swung about to pull down the back of my dress. I felt reasonably confident that I had eluded exposure in the nick of time but as I turned, I saw the maintenance man who always sweeps the front of Boricua College. He's there every day sweeping at the same time and he's at least 60. He was looking straight at me and today he was smiling. And then he winked at me. Sweet Jesus--the Boricua College janitor saw my ass. The horror, the horror.
As soon as I got home, I ordered 20 pairs of bikini briefs from Victoria Secret online and had them shipped priority.
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3 comments:
Hey, don't sweat the small stuff. Be proud of your ass. Besides, even the sweepers need a little thrill every now and then. Just be glad you weren't walking around with the dress accidentally tucked into your thongs.
No slip?
I know you blogged about slips before, but I thought you were in favor of them! Well, if I mooned a city, I would die. But I'll bet you could pull it off.
You're kind Caryl and Karen but my big white ass is not something anyone should want to see. I still think the janitor was merely humoring me.
I do have very bad thong episodes. I should burn the pile in my drawer.
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