A Moving Experience

Hello, people. I have been rather absent from this blog (which, hello, I hate because I enjoy my evening experience of writing here). I can squarely blame this on a jam packed schedule that has left me a balance of four or five free hours and well, I have to sleep.

Yesterday was a classic example; Up at 6 am, worked on my laptop till 8 am, got dressed and was off to our medical convention till 5 pm. We were then off to an editorial meeting/dinner followed by a last minute mad dash to the train station to catch the 8:30 pm Metroliner back to New York. The cold I had been nurturing had exploded in my head and by the time we pulled into Penn Station at 12:35 am, I was wheezing and congested and really rather unattractive. A sinus headache threatened to split my head open. Jewels and I grabbed a taxi and I was finally home by 1:25 am. I fell into bed by 2 am.

The alarm sounded at 6 am and by some miracle of biology, my wheezing and congested body rose and walked obediently to the shower. After having a heated debate with my closet about what I should wear today, I finally slung my fat ass out of the door. I swung by to pick up Hollaback and arrived at the office in time for meetings with visiting staff from Baltimore. These meetings occupied a good portion of the day and stretched into dinner and a late evening. After navigating my commute home with bleary eyes and swollen head, I rolled into my front door tonight at 9:30 pm. And so it goes.

But from this mundane routine, a delightful pearl emerges. When we arrived in Connecticut this morning, Hollaback gave me a birthday present. She insisted I open it in the car. The first part was a bottle of Piper-Heidsieck champagne (and she knows I love, love, love champagne so I was delighted). The second part: a mini travel vibrator (with its own travel bag!). Yes, that kind of vibrator. I could barely contain my wheezing laughter. I absentmindedly left this gift sitting in the backseat of my car.

At the end of the day, our Baltimore visitors chose to ride with me to the restaurant since my Angus offers such a spacious ride. As we collectively strode to the car, I was immediately seized by the recall of the vibrator sitting on the back seat of the car. Bloody hell!! Without arousing suspicion, I tried to run ahead but being loyal types, they kept step. I unlocked the car for them to load their luggage when one of my colleagues came up behind me--I was furiously stuffing The Gift into my briefcase. Feeling compelled to falsely exonerate myself, I volunteered "It's a cell phone charger." Oh, she said with complete disinterest.

I hope she believed me and knowing her, she did. Let's be honest--that would be a hard one to explain. Now if it had been a 13 inch hot pink sillicone phallus, I would have had a lot of 'splaining to do. So thanks Hollaback, for your discretion in gifting me with something that looks like a WaterPik.

After dinner was over and I was toddling back to Gotham, I checked my work voicemail. I had a message from Hollaback; she was calling much earlier from the Connecticut train station to warn me to hide the evidence before our visiting guests embarked for dinner.

Now that's funny.