This Was Weird

I was on the subway today. It was a partial express train to downtown. It's Easter weekend so there are not many people on the train. There's the trio of brothers tricking out each other while standing in the doorway. There's the petite older blond swathed in a leopard windbreaker, aviator sunglasses and faux Fendi purse. There's the uber skinny model type scarfing McDonald's Chicken McNuggets. She has thighs that are the size of my calves and eyes that are like saucers. There's the cool lone brother wearing a menacing gray hoodie and getting down with his ipod. There's a Dominican family quartet clutching bibles, nibbling on Easter candy. It feels strange.

Then suddenly the most extraordinary person I've ever seen in my life boards the train. He must be in his 60s. His hair cut is so precise, it looked like a Devo plastic headpiece. He's wearing a gleaming white suit with a bright red pocket square, an American flag pin, a lavender shirt, a startling red tie emblazoned with white doves, vivid purple socks and red faux alligator saddle shoes. He sports a Chaplin-esque moustache and atop his shoulders is a a red cape. I am transfixed by the mere theater of this man sweeping into my subway car. So is the skinny model. He carries with him a red faux alligator bag and during the ride he extracts from it a classic slim silver flask. He gently pours himself a snort between 72nd and 79th Street and knocks it back with drama, exuding a loud "Ahhhh." He engages several other commuters in conversation, all in rapid Spanish with wide sweeping gestures of his arm. Fascinating.

I live in the weirdest place in America. And thank God.