Just When Things Were Getting Back to Normal

This has been the longest period that I've gone without blogging. I've felt the absence, most certainly, but I have been embroiled in intense work efforts over the past week while attending an inspiring and all encompassing corporate meeting. These efforts have completely preoccupied my every waking thought and moment. Beyond that, I was mentally depleted. By yesterday evening piecing together even a simple sentence was a Herculean effort. I pride myself on my resourceful energy which rarely fails me, but by this morning I felt fully and utterly spent.

Returning back to the comfort of my Connecticut office milieu over the past two days, I did feel my usual vigor resume. Welcomed back after my absence by a multitude of well wishing colleagues, I felt re-energized and restored. The normal routine fell into place. All was right with the world.

Late in the morning just as I was moving into my life-as-normal-groove, Hollaback came into my office. She had a sense of urgency about her. Her face was grave. She tried to carefully chose her words and then blurted out the news. The partner of a very close friend of ours in San Francisco had died.

This young man had been with my friend, Mr. Chile, for nearly a decade and they shared a boisterous, happy life together. Mr. Chile had been a widower when he met Tim. Mr. Chile's previous partner Rick had passed away from AIDS only three years prior. We worried for Mr. Chile during that time. He had taken a long time to recover from Rick's death. Yet when he met Tim, he was reborn. They were a joyous and fun couple. Opposite in many ways, they were also perfectly well suited to one another. Tim awakened such love in Mr. Chile and I was certain they'd spend a long future together. Tim was only in his 40s but was predisposed to genetic heart problems. Despite preventative surgery in 2007 and a regimen of diet, exercise and medication, Tim collapsed from a massive heart attack while returning home from work last night. I think it's suffice to say that my friend is devastated. When I spoke to him tonight, he was a lost man. It breaks my heart.

I mourn the loss of the truly exceptional man that Tim was. I passed many happy occasions with Tim and I valued his bawdy humor, his zest for life, his appreciation for the little details in all things, the strange twang of his Midwestern accent, his shared appreciation of good food, wine and amusing people and his solid--in not painfully honest--advice, especially when I needed to hear brutally honest advice. He was a treasure and to be robbed of him so fucking prematurely is a travesty.

I mourn too for Mr. Chile who is a friend I love very much. He's had some serious hardships in his life and this is just another setback he'll have to work through. He will overcome this (as we all do--strange that whole human perseverance thing) but I'm pained that he should have to endure another brutal loss of this magnitude. A human being should have to take just so much in the duration of their lifetime.

I don't know how I'm feeling just now. Check back tomorrow.