The Guiltiest of Pleasures

I have a lot of guilty pleasures that I'll freely cop to: fried foods, Lifetime television movies when I have PMS, red licorice, US Weekly magazine and trashy gossip websites, a good find at H&M, summers in Fresno, bowling, salt pork, beer out of a can, trailer parks, Jerry Springer...the list is probably endless.

I confess the worst of my guilty pleasures is the skankiest of reality shows: "Rock of Love" on VH1. Now VH1 has to be the grandaddy of all sleazy reality programs. Look at their roster of sophisticated programming--"Flavor of Love," "I love New York," "Celebrity Rehab," "Scott Baio is 46 & Pregnant," "My Fair Brady," and "Celebrity Fit Club." That's entertainment, people!

I was drawn into the VH1 peripheral through "Tila Tequila's Shot At Love." The premise of a bi-sexual MySpace model trying to make a love-match choosing between a group of men and women was too enticing to pass up. I started rooting for a cute lesbian named Dani (below) to take the prize (that is, win Tila's heart), but in the end Tila passed up Dani for a guy. That was a bad call on Tila's part for in the end, the relationship failed and shortly, Tila will be back on VH1 with a new series "A Shot At Love 2." Of course. Should have gone with Dani, Tila.

My viewing habits with "A Shot of Love" led to my fondness for "Rock of Love." During the first season, I witnessed women (oh, let's be honest, the skankiest of the female sex) doing things that horrified and delighted me. This was the finest in white trash skanky ho-ism there is. I loyally followed the season and in the end our protagonist (that would be Bret Michaels, the lead singer of Poison) chose the right girl--the only decent soul amongst the wanton lot. Sadly, the girl of choice really did not care for Mr. Michaels. Bad for Bret; good for VH1. Hello, Season Two!

I tried to step away and wean myself from the trash fest that is this program but I just couldn't. Who can resist a reality show that offers such intriguing challenges as mud football, pig wrastling, building a motorcycle from scratch and stripping for 80 year old veterans at a USO show? That's to say nothing of the back biting cat fights that take place between the girls. Their profanity is as thick as the makeup caked all over their faces. I'd argue most of their breasts are silicon based and their clothing choices make the hookers on Melrose look like Park Avenue doyennes.

I'm not sure who Bret will finally chose in the end, but there's a down to earth girl named Ambre who appears to be intelligent, classy (as much as a girl can be in this environment) and a straight shooter. She's a little giddy sometimes for my taste but she seems to be the only one who has some substance to her.

Aw, who am I kidding? Brett's going to go for the worst choice. That only means there's a season three in my future.