What DO Men Want?

At the risk of asking the age old question--can anyone tell me what men really want in a woman? Is it someone who challenges them and sparks the far reaches of their minds? Is it someone who makes them feel like Superman in the bedroom and a master of their domain in the rest of the house? Is it a person who is their equal in all respects, who exemplifies the true definition of "partner?" I still haven't figured out this stupid dichotomy.

While this is a loaded question for an easy Thursday night, I will cite this: I do know one thing for sure. That whole Madonna/whore syndrome most certainly does exist. For any of us who enjoyed adventurous sex and risky abandon prior to a marriage, we know that we represented at some point in our lives a legit and appealing whore (presumably with intellectual equal) to the men in our lives. One those little bands of hard won gold slide down a finger, not much else is going down in a marriage (pardon the obvious euphemism). If you think you'll ever get fucked in the backseat of a car again (even by your husband), you have another thing coming. You're suddenly "better" than that. You are a wife, a participating member of a family and the most holy of holy, the potential mother of this man's children. Cue ecclesiastical music now and don your halo. You have migrated to The Madonna. Preserve your vaginas, girls, for it may possibly be enshrined. You are a relic and therefore, to be honored and respected and perhaps reverently handled.

It would be far too easy to blame Catholic school for this one. And even easier to blame the man's mother. Perhaps the origin can be squarely placed in the hands of the male mind. I suspect some organic make up suggests a clear status separation between a woman you are dating (a woman that is as disposable as a soiled wet nap as she shows signs of wear) and the woman you marry (and her truly significant role as a mother). I recognize this requires some deliberation.

The fact is this; men are wonderful creatures and undeniably, we adore them. It's no mystery--we are continually drawn to them. Personally, I value their candor, their overt charms, and their genuine lay-it-on-the-line sweetness. I count on a man to be forthright and fun. Most of them are. They swagger with a natural confidence and crumble with earnestness. I won't degrade their sex by generalizing in black and white terms. Indeed it seems to be me that they are as complex as their female counterparts.

But let's get back to the whole Madonna/whore thing. The lesson to be gleaned from tonight's diatribe should be thus--if you marry, be prepared to be adored but perhaps not fulfilled as a woman. If you don't chose said path you will probably be parenthetically lonely but you will (theoretically)have a hell of a lot of fun. Perhaps that is why a lot of single women own cats---cats provide some aspect of maintenance in a routine but the cats don't talk back. And the single gals get the high hard one too. They may be the lucky ones.

It's a loosely realized theory so know that I welcome your comments; good, bad, angry--they are all sound voices.