Award season is finally upon us (I know there's a writer's strike on, but I'm using this opening for dramatic license). There's the Golden Globes, the Academy Awards, the SAG Awards, the People's Choice Awards, the Tony Awards, the Grammy Awards...the list goes on and on. However, the best awards of all (and my personal favorite) are the Darwin Awards.
The Darwin Awards were started in 1985 and are (per Wikipedia):"...a tongue-in-cheek honor named after evolutionary theorist Charles Darwin. As described in the Darwin Award books: The Awards honour people who ensure the long-term survival of the human race by removing themselves from the gene pool in a sublimely idiotic fashion."
There are stellar acts cited but there can be only one winner. Here is, courtesy of the Darwin Awards, the deserved winning entry:
THE ENEMA WITHIN (Confirmed True by Darwin)
May 2004, Texas | Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor... well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party.
Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!
When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.
The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. Toxicology reports measured his blood alcohol level as 0.47%.
In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.
As absolutely absurd as this stupidity was there's even more, including a couple attempting to have sex on a pyramid roof of a house and a commuter working on his laptop while driving. Is this a great country or what? Full stories can be found here.
To quote one of the Darwin Awards mottos: "The Tree of Life is Self-Pruning"
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5 comments:
Like a train wreck..couldn't pull myself away from this post.
Hey, what happened to the fancy money ? Yes, I'll trust you to keep me informed of the winners.
Karen: Someone chastised me for using the money origamni images on my blog (which I found via a Google Image search) when I should have simply provided a link to the sites the images originated from. I'm sensitive to the concern, so I'm doing just that and I'll repost it.
Were the images protected? Maybe you ought to have provided the link, but as I recall the website was listed across one of the pictures. I could be mistaken. Were the images Bibi's? I'm sorry. I'm really cranky. Bibi could be 100% in the right and I still would like to tell her to shut the hell up.
Go, Mary-Mo!
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