Hug Therapy

If I didn't disagree with their labor practices, I'd be a natural to work at Walmart. I'd be a perfect entry greeter and I'd be exactly like that old feller in the commercials who puts smiley face stickers on the customers and gives them a big sloppy embrace. In the ad he exclaims, "Hug are good!" OK, old codger--I agree with you.

I'm a natural hugger. Maybe because I am a California girl by birthright and we are huggy, warm and fuzzy people anyway. However I see hugging as an extension of connecting with people. I believe in the tactile expression--touching someone on the arm to make a point, touching a hand to express consensus and giving a fat kiss on the cheek to convey genuine affection for a gift of friendship. I am effusive in this respect and its a perfectly natural expression to me. Yet I've also learned it's important to respect the box of personal space and the demographic levels of comfort to this expression.

When I'm with my homies in California (Northern and Southern), it's a natural love fest. We ooze it. In New York City, it's expressive and in your face. If a New Yorker shows you the love, it will be loud and it is something to be treasured because it is certifiably real. With my new colleagues in Connecticut, I had to temper these outbursts. They clearly have their comfort space and I have respected those parameters. Yet I find now that they have become easier and outward in their displays. With the holidays upon us I have shared unexpected and affectionate moments with my colleagues in Connecticut and they have been as rich and vibrant as the moments that I enjoy with less conservative allies. It really comes down to this---as living expressive creatures, we need the validation of human interaction. It's nice to see that walls can come down when we need them to and that the common gene pool is as common as we always supposed.

I can best illustrate this case with a situation I faced a few weeks ago. On the fateful occasion of some hard business job layoffs, I was really spent at the end of the day. My colleagues looked at me with a mix of fear, anger and suspicion. Understand that's really a depleted feeling but I knew it was important to comfort the staff and remain steady. At this day's end, I ran into one of our circulation managers in the hallway. She's a pleasant woman with a sweet voice and a calm demeanor. She came up to me and said in a most matter of fact voice, "I think you need a hug." And you know what? I did. She gave me a perfectly warm and understanding hug. That gesture alone salvaged the day for me--more importantly, it restored my faith in the positive hard wiring that comes in all people.

So go and hug somebody. Right now.