Cube Warfare

You can tell a lot about a person by the look of their workspace. Why not? We spend more of our lives in our workspace than anywhere else. Or so it seems. Most of my colleagues embellish their personal work spaces with tasteful art prints (that Monet water lilly thing gets a lot of cubicle wall space), personal photographs in destination locations and other elegant outward expressions of their personal characters. They post their children's artwork (which I confess is always charming for its out of the box interpretation) and greeting cards and photos of favorite pastimes. I suppose that means a glance in someones workspace when they're not there should tell you all you need to know about that space's occupant. Theoretically.

My workspace is goofy and I frankly like it that way. I have pictures and campy postcards and lots of novelty tzotkes. There are photos of Fang in Greece and Nice and Florence. I have pictures of my parents and of Marv and MeiMei. And I have many photos with my friends and colleagues. I have a boxing nun puppet, several baseball hats, a collection of minature decorated ceramic shoes, some old ad print blocks, several monkey ornaments, a little zen garden barbecue, a Jesus action figure (hidden away lest I offend someone), a bible on a key chain that breaks into a chorus of "Hallelujah!" when you push a button (also hidden), an evil bendy doll, several voodoo dolls (artfully pierced with common household pins), a simese cat tape dispenser that Norma gave me when Figaro passed away, several wind up toys, jingle bells on strings (to be shaken vigorously when business deals and large ad units close), a Mardi Gras doubloon with Dennis Quaid's face on it that Norma brought me from a trade show in New Orleans maybe 15 years ago, a manual calendar from Geppy's honeymoon in Puerto Rico, a couple of containers of Maple syrup from the Glamazon's trips to Vermont, a boat oar that I inherited from The Pilgrim when I assumed his position in Connecticut..and so on. My office is packed with quirky and fond knickknacks. They remind me of people I enjoy so I like these reminders of them around me.

While I think I have enough personal STUFF, I am rather taken with the notion of adapting new toys to torment those around me. In due course, we'll be relocating from this space and I hear talk that we'll all be situated in cubicle space nose to nose. In light of this, I now feel an urgency to be prepared with new tools to keep my new enemy (neighbor) at bay. Imagine my delight when The Queen Bee sent this link out today:

http://www.thinkgeek.com:80/geektoys/warfare/

I already have my eye on the Megazooker, the Zero Fog Blaster and the Screaming Monkey Slingshot. God help my neighbors.