A few years ago (awright, many years ago) when I was in college, I was invited to a costume party. It was fresh into the first semester, so mischief was fully afoot. I was a poor student, working my way through college and had few resources to expend on conjuring up a creative look.
On this particular evening, I was really strapped to create a costume. My arty friends were all attending and had whipped up outrageous and fanciful gear modeled from simple elements, such as oatmeal, corn flakes, newspaper and food coloring. I was not so artistically inclined. Eventually my eye alighted on a pile of feminine products crowded in my closet.
My mother had sent me a Costco worthy supply of feminine products. I had the full buffet: the 200 box of tampons, the double duty bag of feminine pads, the light days strips and (here's a throwback) two belts to secure the old fashioned pads. She seemed to labor under the premise that I was so careless and wanton that I would simply resort to using torn strips of my bedsheets to stem my menstrual flow; she thought I was ignorant of the existence of commercial products intended for said use (a mystery to me still). So she armed me in bulk.
Little did she know it, but my mother's desperate bid to preserve my feminine freshness fed a creative idea. Eureka!
I put on a full black leotard from my dance class. I duct taped a series of feminine pads together and made a skirt. I duct taped another grouping together and made a vest. I stapled the edge of two pads together to make slippers. I threaded together a group of tampons and made a bold necklace. I threaded two tampons through my pierced ears and made earrings. And then I combined the elements of pad and tampons together to create a vivid headpiece of dreadlocks. Finally, I put two pads (sealed by some panty liners) together, sewed on an eviscerated feminine belt and made a purse. A slash of red lipstick, false eyelashes and I was off to the party.
I was a hit, although my mother was horrified to learn that I went out in public fully robed in feminine hygiene products. I'd like to say my idea was unique but when I told the story to Hollaback last week, she sent me this link. Let's just go with that whole great minds thing.
http://www.tamponcrafts.com/
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5 comments:
I can believe you would do that.
You could go to the party with
sperm man and condom man.
Haa haa haaa I would pay money to see a photo of you in that costume!!!
Oh, and I checked out that link...LOVE the Christmas Light tampon idea1 haaaaa!
Sperm man & Condom man? That sounds like a nasty piece of performance art. Seriously.
So you wore an outfit made entirely of feminie hygene products... but what were you?
In college my dorm neighbors spent the first two months of the year tape recording their own farts, draped themselves in the nasty dorm issue brown blankets & went out as "poo" HILARIOUS!
C&W Sperm man and Condom man where at
the same party I was. Let me
clarify. They weren't together.
(I had to write that carefully.)
:D Gave people a lot of laughs.
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