On closer observation of the cucurbita pepo, an old classification of those peoples who are natives of the terrain called Connecticut, I have noted several key behavioral aspects. I have been in the bush for 96 days and see the following curious traits:-They do not like any physical contact with differing tribes. If you attempt to adhere your hand in a sympathetic gesture on their shoulder they will recoil with discomfort and horror.
-They do not understand the slang language utilized in urban culture. The terms "bro" "dude" "beyotch" and "motherfucker" might as well be Dutch. They appear to be puzzled and uncomfortable.
-They have yet to experience whole grain products in their culture. I recommend slow induction of said products into their diet lest they experience episodes of new and unexpected gastric distress.
-Unlike other tribes, this collective group appears to have a tendency to actually utilize all buttons on their upper clothing which makes for uncomfortable gathering at the neck region and constricting the possible flow of air.
-They harbor complete ease with the woodland creatures who scamper around the terrain of the compound but get freaked out when they hear a few bars of the latest 50 Cent video emanating from my office (in my defense, someone e-mail me the YouTube link).
-I conclude they have never watched a reality show in their lives. Especially one on VH1.
-They don't understand why someone would wear a heel above 1". Here, a realization that the natives must learn to function in polite society.
-Most curious of all, the rugged natives of Connecticut are articulate peoples and they can speak a great deal of their storied history of their lives and those of the ancestors. Yet they never deign to ask a question of their interviewer which forces me to conclude they have no interest in tribes beyond their own village.
Further study must be undertaken. An new trail forged along a place the locals call The Merritt Parkway will bear out a faster avenue to the sacred grounds of the Connecticutians. In the words of Douglas MacArthur..I will be back.
2 comments:
The natives also seem particularly attune to indications of rank in their own tribe or others and craft elaborate rituals of feigned obiesance or (genuine) disdain based on one's perceived value to one's clan.
On behalf of the rest of New England, I would like to point out that this rarified tribe in southern Connecticut does not necessarily represent the surrounding region, vis-a-vis the socio-economic strategory.
i.e. - I am all over those 3" heels, beyotch!
;-)
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