Since I do spend a fair amount of time commuting on the wretched roadways of the tri-state area, I've started one of my informal studies (you know the ones with the plus/minus margins of errors of 40%? Yeah, one of those). You see all kinds of drivers. There are a definite genre on the streets of Manhattan. A whole other group in The Bronx. The people driving to Yankee Stadium are a specialized study unto themselves. Yet once you venture into Westchester County, Connecticut and New Jersey the sample size widens considerably.
Over the past five months, I can start to make predictions about what certain drivers will do on the road. One group of drivers drive with an aggression that suggests they actually believe the road is theirs alone to navigate. They believe they are impervious to police action. They roll across lane dividers like a Russian dancer leaping into a mazurka. These are the drivers who make a right hand turn from a left hand lane. Pity you, you dumb schmuck, if you happen to be driving along and observing the rules of the road and one of these masters of the road/universe wanders into your lane because he wants to pass the car ahead of him. These drivers operate by a different set of rules. They are the ones you see zigzagging ahead of you and you hiss under your breath to no one in particular, "You're an asshole." Because they sure seem like they are.
I hate generalizations but enough personal experiences of being cut off, forced out of a lane and nearly having my rear view mirror sheared off taught me to observe the form of my nemesis. These drivers can indeed be pigeonholed into a genre and their vehicle of choice. I'm sorry to announce the finding for I have some good friends who also select this model of car--I apologize to you in advance for this perspective.
Owning a BMW seems to grant one the license to adopt a road superiority not available to the rest of we mere mortals. There must be that whole elitist driving vision; the symbolic image of the hopelessly fast lone BMW whipping down a slick Autobahn at breakneck speed; floods of water splaying from its lightening fast wheels as it skids into a perfect 90 degree angle as the vehicle changes lanes. Its history of mechanical excellence, German workmanship and bad ass breed had been the hallmark of its advertising campaign. BMW's owners revels in that reputation...at least the ones I have dealt with on my daily ride have done.
Inevitably the drivers displaying this deplorable driving etiquette are white men, looking to be anywhere between mid 30s and 50s. Their expressions are superior and impatient. So blase are they as they blast past you that its not even worth flipping a finger at them. They'd probably read it as a dyslexic thumbs up.
The Audi is a close second in boorish road behavior but it's got nothing on its evil older brother. The BMW is the Damian of the road; the careless WASP who is blowing through Daddy's fortune without actually establishing a career. It's privileged and indifferent and calculated.
I'm sure its also a hell of a lot of fun to drive--on the Autobahn, yes, just not on the New England Turnpike.
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2 comments:
My, my you are catching on quickly C&W. I would like to add the Lexus drivers as well (yes I do have dear friends that own Lexus', they are exempt). Why is it the drivers of Mercedes seem to be in a different class? Perhaps they don't need to give the impression their dick is bigger because it really doesn't matter, now does it?
Quite right, my dear! It all comes back to the dick.
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