Scrappy

Recently, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep, so I flipped on the television for something that might induce drowsiness. At this hour, the programming is rife with infomercials. I stopped to watch one only because it dealt with something other than weight loss, skin care or hair products (what does that tell you about the middle of the night target audience, hmmm?). This infomercial was hawking The Ultimate Scrapbooking Kit. What the hell was this?

I kept watching and soon realized it was an actual thing. People take the composition of their scrapbooks pretty damned seriously. The kit offered decorative stickers and adhesive frames and paper mounts and 20 different fonts of stick-on letters and polyurethane overlays and colored pens and glitter and all sorts of shit. Some of the examples shown were remarkably elaborate. After thinking, "Who on earth has time to do this?" I decided further research was required. Infomercials sometimes position their product as serving a desperate market need, but let me tell you--I never got much play from that stupid Bedazzler I bought in the 1980s. I gave up in frustration after trying to stud a heavy leather purse. Market need, my ass. And while we're on it, the Ginzu knife does not cut a can cleanly in half in one fell swoop. Just saying.

Apparently, there is a need for the demands of the scrapbooking community. These are dedicated zealots, bedecking volumes of priceless memories for future generations. They're competitive too. Lots of oneupmanshipping on producing flowery, glittering pages. There are numerous magazines and websites dedicated to this practice. They have books and contests and every gewgaw you can imagine. It is a deadly serious hobby. Well, who knew?

I like the notion that people will go to the trouble of artfully arranging their memories to lovingly preserve. I used to collect the odd bits of things just to hold on to, but years of moving house and three cross country moves has taught me to embrace the less is more value. Any sentimental items and family photos I've collected over the years are secured in boxes and stored in the basement in our house in California. I suppose I'll have to retrieve it one of these days. Frankly, I'd be curious to see what I actually deemed valuable enough to keep.

These days, I'm lucky to find enough spare time to shower or do the dishes. God bless those folks who have the breadth of concentration and the luxury of time to elaborately adorn their keepsakes. No doubt someone will appreciate them.

In case you'd like to explore this phenomenon of scrapbooking further, here's a taste: http://scrapbooking.com/cgi-bin/Phase_2/toc.pl

Postscript: I'm off to Tupelo tomorrow with a gaggle of women that I've never actually met but somehow feel I already know. Got the convertible. Got the directions. Got just enough space in my belly for a waffle or two. Got my dancing shoes on. I'm counting on an adventure.