My Favorite Smart Ass

I love Bill Murray. He is the original smart ass. He is the smart ass we all we aspire to be. He delivers his barbs with cool precision without actually offending anyone. How can you not love him? He's utterly cool.

I personally feel "Stripes" was his zenith of smart ass-dom, garnering a plethora of worthy lines. His slightly sarcastic delivery flows from him like a private dialogue between him and the audience, leaving his antagonist completely bewildered. Fang often quotes a line from "Stripes" without any precedence or prodding. He'll be in line at the grocery store and just utter, "Chicks dig me" with that same cool matter of fact delivery. Why not quote the man? He's brilliant.

His film roles showcase this best and here are some of my favorite lines from some of his films:

Come on, all the long distance lines are down? What about satellite? Is it snowing in space? Don't you keep open a line for emergencies or for celebrities? I'm both! I'm a celebrity in an emergency

I was in the Virgin Islands once. Met a girl. We ate lobster and drank pina-coladas. At sunset we made love like Sea Otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over?

There are 2 types of people in this world: those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't.

I never liked a girl well enough to give her 12 sharp knives.

Mrs. Crane! You're a little monkey woman, you know that?

I don't have to take this abuse from you, I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang

Riots in the streets, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

Kids are starving in China and you're walking around with a sombrero full of peanuts.

Yeah, I think that's sort of the American way. And it's also the Polish way, it turns out.

Salesman: Boxer or jockey?
John Winger: Got something in a low-rise bikini, mesh, if possible?

You gotta love the man.