I Will Break You

To eradicate my sins of the past month, I've been taking an additional power core class on Saturdays at my gym. This is a two hour extravaganza that reduces me into a sweaty mass of stinky humanity, but damn, I do feel good afterwards. I included a grappling class today, because in truth I actually enjoy it.

I grappled with an advanced student today. At the end of the class, the Joshu said to me, "You're really good at this. Maybe you should train to compete in grappling." While pleased that I have finally stumbled upon something I don't actually SUCK at, why would it be the least feminine thing on the planet? I mean, there's nothing girly about the take down, the side out and the pin. It figures.

I squarely blame my bloodline for this. I know 300 years ago, my ancestors were toiling in the fields in the Ukraine or some such Slavic countryside. I'm convinced I am part and parcel of those sturdy middle eastern breed of women who had calves the size of tree trunks who could clear a field in a single day with a scythe and then drink the men under the table in the evening. There's no denying it--it is in my blood. Maybe I should have called this blog "Kielbasa and Babka." (Yeah..no. The lure of Southern food trumps wrestling).

My twin brother Marv also enjoys wrestling. When we were kids, we loved to watch "Big Time Wrestling" on a local independent TV channel. We'd replicate the moves we saw, to my mother's horror. I'd always play Pat Patterson; Marv would be Rocky Johnson. We'd leap from the top on bookshelves and the backs of couches on to one another and fight furiously for the pin. It was serious work and we engaged in this odd yet natural practice whenever we could. I cracked my front tooth doing this; my brother sprained an ankle. Yet, we were drawn to it naturally as part of our cultural blood. To this day (and we're both in our mid forties), we'll still engage in wrestling if provoked. On my last visit to San Francisco a few months ago, we started wrestling in his kitchen. Marv's wife MeiMei came in, took one look at us and sighed. "Twins," she said, laughing.

So my lone special gift is wrestling. At least I can put it to some use now. I signed up for private lessons with a Joshu to improve my technique because, well, you never know when you'll need to wrestle with someone on the subway.