Who conjured that expression
You learn something everyday?
I'm only halfway through my life
There's more I need to say.

If we indeed could know it all
At this point in our lives,
We'd be freaking bored by now
And experimenting with knives.

There's plenty more to be learned
Before we'll all be missed
Hey, what a perfect entree
To compile another list!

The list should be rather long
The subjects more than ample
But we ain't got all night here
So here's a little sample.

I'd like to learn to knit again
And build a perfect fire
Jog in a pair of Manolos
Correctly change a tire.

I'd like to learn the ideal way
To use a French bidet
Speak in iambic pentameter
Nap guilt-free during the day.

It'd be great to learn the words
To the song "Rapper's Delight"
And execute a take down
If enticed into a fight.

Side graft a branch on fruit trees
Perfect a cast when I fly fish
Learn the art of woodcuts
Finely garnish a serving dish.

I'd learn to play harmonica
Though I'll never learn to sing
Maybe try to figure out
That multiple orgasm thing.

I'd strive to exact a fox trot
Stab at physics one last time
And Mount Rainier's beckoning
There's still some peaks to climb.

I've yet to make a souffle or
Surf along the Barrier Reef
Even though it's revolting
I'd like to taste chipped beef.

I'd like to read a weather map
Without the meteorological mire
Or say "yes" in fifty languages--
That's a goal I've long aspired.

Football's rules I've yet to learn
And that fucking turn side kick
Can I learn to roll my R's?
How do you use a guitar pick?

There's many things I need to learn
As it so evidently appears
That ignorance should buy me,
say, another fifty years.