"Cheese is milk's leap toward immortality".
- Cliff Fadiman
For a girl who seems inbred
In white trash and all its lore
You scratch beneath the surface
And there, you'll find some more
For fried food is a vocation
Southern specialties, ah, they please
Yet if you peek behind the curtain
There lives a passion for cheese
It started with English Stilton
When I was just a tot
I progressed up on to Gouda,
Then, Fontina and Roquefort
My grandmother's luncheon basic,
Cheddar, brown bread and butter
Evolved to gentle toast points
Spread thick with Appenzeller
The basics of the genre,
Pepper Jack and docile Swiss
Are counterbalanced nicely
With Valdeon and Affidelice
Everyone loves Chevre
So light and freshly white
And if you feel like slumming
There's Kraft Cheese Singles Lite
Gorgonzola's bite is piquant
Gruyere makes a fine fondue
Brie's a friendly basic
Munster smells of moldy shoes
Havarti needs a flavoring
Dill makes it far less bland,
Manchego is a vixen cheese
Pecorino, an old hand.
I attribute my deflowering to
In white trash and all its lore
You scratch beneath the surface
And there, you'll find some more
For fried food is a vocation
Southern specialties, ah, they please
Yet if you peek behind the curtain
There lives a passion for cheese
It started with English Stilton
When I was just a tot
I progressed up on to Gouda,
Then, Fontina and Roquefort
My grandmother's luncheon basic,
Cheddar, brown bread and butter
Evolved to gentle toast points
Spread thick with Appenzeller
The basics of the genre,
Pepper Jack and docile Swiss
Are counterbalanced nicely
With Valdeon and Affidelice
Everyone loves Chevre
So light and freshly white
And if you feel like slumming
There's Kraft Cheese Singles Lite
Gorgonzola's bite is piquant
Gruyere makes a fine fondue
Brie's a friendly basic
Munster smells of moldy shoes
Havarti needs a flavoring
Dill makes it far less bland,
Manchego is a vixen cheese
Pecorino, an old hand.
I attribute my deflowering to
A forgotten Maitre Fromager
Who said, trust me you'll like this
Have a taste now, si'l vous plait.
I was helpless at the first bite
Of a dusky Zamorano
A swig of wine, a taste of fig
And bite of Amarello
The Bartlett Blue was creamy
And the Shepherd paired with shallot
The Bonne Bouche was complex
Chablis chaser cleansed the palate
And finally, my cheesy seducer
Took the tasting one step better
He served the Abbaye de Belloc
Partnered with smoky pancetta
From that day I was a convert
And have since begun to save
Only ten grand more yet to go
And I'll own my own cheese cave.
Who said, trust me you'll like this
Have a taste now, si'l vous plait.
I was helpless at the first bite
Of a dusky Zamorano
A swig of wine, a taste of fig
And bite of Amarello
The Bartlett Blue was creamy
And the Shepherd paired with shallot
The Bonne Bouche was complex
Chablis chaser cleansed the palate
And finally, my cheesy seducer
Took the tasting one step better
He served the Abbaye de Belloc
Partnered with smoky pancetta
From that day I was a convert
And have since begun to save
Only ten grand more yet to go
And I'll own my own cheese cave.
3 comments:
mmmm cheese.
It's been ages since we went to Artisanal. Just sayin'...
I know. The Circe of the Cave beckons.
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