At heart, I am a wide eyed optimist. I really am. I'm a firm believer that even the shittiest situation carries a silver lining. If you're dealt a week fraught with the most absurd bad luck and if you weather it with humor, you can usually muddle through just fine. I secretly believe for every crap week you have to deal with, the next week will be stellar to compensate. You have to laugh at things, even when it's maddening. There will always be an upside. I often use the old expression "When God shuts a door, he opens a window" and I believe it. Sometimes, though, you need to use a little more WD40 to get those panes to snap open...but open they will.

So with that "Up With People" preface, let me point out that there are things that have happened recently that can be positive and negative (outlined below). I'll present both sides of the situation. What's your glass half full/half empty theory on this? I go either way. If it's half empty, I'm gunning for some ass kicking happy in the week ahead; if it's contrary, I may have to buy a burka...but it will be in a lovely taupe that brings out my eyes.

Here we go and for your consideration. The Goofus & Gallant of arbitrary karma:

Pro: It finally snowed! Snow! Snow! Glorious pristine pellets of icy goodness!
Con: Today, all the snow is all grey and there is a thick coating of ice on the sidewalks which is certain to cause all sorts of injury, inconvenience and possibly death.

Pro: The dentist refilled my filling in record time and my insurance covers all of it!
Con: The bastard chipped part of the bonding on another perfectly good tooth and I called and threatened to sue him if he didn't rebond the chipped portion gratis.

Pro: The dry cleaner called and finally found my wonderful gray lambswool sweater!
Con: It was returned with all six of the buttons missing.

Pro: After working hard to perfect the technique of the spinning back kick, I think I have it now!
Con: I fucked up my right foot slamming it into the wall practicing it at home in the hallway.

Pro: My clothes are getting too baggy! I'm down nearly a clothing size!
Con: I don't have a freaking thing that to wear except sweat pants, my karate gi and those weird cargo pants I bought years ago in Berlin.

Pro: I'm traveling to London in a month on business for a week! I'm so lucky I get to travel to such interesting places for my job!
Con: All my relatives in London are still pissed at me because I sent thank you notes for my September visit well after the Emily Post approved period of time for sending thank you notes and they're not talking to me.

Pro: I lost three pounds in the last week!
Con: I was persuaded to thin out my hair after my stylist said, "Your hair is sitting on your head like a big over sized doormat." The amount removed must have accounted for at least five pounds alone so technically I gained two pounds. Which sucks.

Pro: My cat, Figaro, defied the odds and continues to live on, three months after being at death's very door!
Con: The crazy feline is also completely senile. demented and shows a propensity for jumping into the tub when I am showering.

Pro: At lunch today, I got to try that hot new Thai restaurant!
Con: Before digging in, I found a fat black hair nestled in my tom kha kai. And I'm a blond.

Pro: The entire family wants to come from California to New York to spend Easter week. Both coasts families together in New York for Easter after nearly a decade! It'll be grand!
Con: They want to stay with us in New York in our apartment and not in Aunt Bert's spacious accommodation in Queens. Fuck. The futon comes out of storage.

Pro: Bought Godiva chocolates as thank you for the entire research group. They are such wonderful people and they make me do my job better.
Con: The director doesn't eat chocolate, but her husband does like these, thanks. He'll enjoy these.

Pro: At an editorial meeting, I enjoy the sage perspectives of my learned colleagues.
Con: I know I'm in trouble when The Pilgrim starts by saying, "In the halcyon days of this company, we used to do it this way..." He speaks for an hour. I could get a pedicure in the same amount of time.

Pro: I had my hair color toned down so it's more of an neutral blond. It looks just right now!
Con: 99.9% of my friends, loved ones and colleagues couldn't tell the difference. Only Norma said to me that it looked yellow and was the same hair color as "Betty from the Archie comic books." Paranoia ensues.

Pro: I have a blackberry! I'm connected to my job 24/7 should an emergency arise!
Con: I have a blackberry. I'm connected to my job 24/7 should an emergency arise...and arise...and arise.

Your two cents?