It's Saturday night and that means my weekly phone call with Marv. He was in a peevish mood tonight. I think the holidays are having this affect on him. We don't have much of our own family left and with the 2,600 mile difference between our two homes, we don't get together for the season very often. He usually ends up spending the holidays with MeiMei's large Chinese family, who all live in the Bay Area. Because Marv and MeiMei work in television news, they usually have to work on Christmas Day, so the big Chinese family celebration takes place on one of their non-work nights. In this case, this get together took place last night.

When Marv gets in these moods, I just feed him questions and the occasional "really?" and let him go. Here was a portion of our dialogue this evening:

Marv: So we went out and bought all this stuff for the family; video games for the kids, an expensive Dilbert boxed set for so and so, Coach purses, jewelry, Godiva chocolate..I mean, we spent a freaking fortune on gifts for the family.
Me: Well, you don't need to spend that much. It's the thought that counts, as they say.
Marv: No, you're wrong. You can't give someone a $10 gift certificate from McDonald's! They have very expensive tastes and they're particular. You gotta shell out.
Me: Yes, but they'd appreciate you taking them out to dinner more, right? The chance for the family to get together is better than a material item and...
Marv: No, I'm sick of fucking dim sum!
Me: No, not dim sum...maybe at a steak house...
Marv: No, we can't go out for meat anymore. MeiMei has irritable bowel syndrome.
Me: OK, well did they like their gifts?
Marv: And do you know what they gave me?
Me: Did they like their gifts?
Marv: They gave me a rubber hand that is supposed to crawl on it's own when you put batteries in it because they know I like spooky shit like that. And a Barnes and Noble gift card.
Me: Both those things sound like good choices for you.
Marv: The gift card was in the amount of $17.43
Me: $17.43?
Marv: What the fuck do you think of that?
Me: [silent, thinking fast]
Marv: And the hand is a piece of crap. When you switch it on, it doesn't crawl. It spins around in a circle...
Me: Maybe you should put it on the ground.
Marv: IT WAS ON THE GROUND! And the fingers don't move. Only the middle finger moves. It's like it's giving me a big 'fuck you' every time I turn it on.
Me: Well, it is the thought that counts, right?

He could not be placated. It was just one of those nights.

Unrelated, "The Sound of Music" is on TV. I confess a sentimental soft spot for this film. When I was growing up and this film was on TV, I'd put it on. Once my mother heard the opening for the score where Julie Andrews sweeps across the Austrian mountain, she always came in and demanded I switch it off. She always said the same thing, "This saccharine sweet shit makes me physically ill!" I could never figure out why she disliked this film so much and it wasn't until I was in college that I actually got to see it in its entirety. And of course I loved it.