In an e-mail exchange with Hollaback Girl, the actor Alan Rickman came up (she was watching "Love, Actually" on DVD and we touched on some of the actors in the film). I have a mild crush on Mr. Rickman, he of the dangerous dark eyes and menacing voice. It got me thinking about an old film he was in years ago that made a large impression on me. It's not what I would call a favorite film, but "Truly, Madly, Deeply" was one of those stories that gets under your skin and makes you envy the depths of passion people can feel for one another.

The film was made for the BBC back in 1991 by "English Patient" director Anthony Minghella. It tells the story of a woman (played brilliantly by Juliet Stevenson) whose boyfriend, Jamie, dies (Jamie is played by a fetching Mr. Rickman). Jamie was a classical cellist so a haunting Bach cello refrain is woven into the soundtrack of the film. It's an appropriate dirge. The woman, Nina, is so distraught at his death, that she simply can not function. She can not cope. It is a palpable pain. Just when she's reached the full zenith of her misery, he returns to her as a ghost and they resume their lives. She's happy for a time until events culminate in an inevitable and bittersweet ending. I won't ruin it for you in case you wish to see it. And if it sounds predictable to you, it's actually much more witty and thoughtful then this slapdash summary would have it seem. The English editor Ian Hislop characterized it as "A 'Ghost' for people who can do crosswords."

But I hadn't actually intended to write about Alan Rickman or this particular film today. It merely sets the stage to ask about the viability of passion, which Nina has is abundance for Jamie. They have a connection that is transcendent and when he dies, she, by extension, also withers away. Now by throwing out passion as a general topic, I don't mean the overt interpretations of what this suggests: sex, sweeping violins, hearts and flowers and all that rubbish. What I mean is the understanding that someone else is there on the planet that is meant specifically for you, that has a parallel mind and heart, that you may have connected with (or perhaps never will) and with whom you feel an unbridled passion of expression? No, I have not been watching Lifetime. I think it's a fair question.

I think most people become drawn into relationships because of general compatibility, mutual attraction and the simple need for companionship. Which is fine; which is normal. Most people are happy. Still, I don't think many people ever find that person who sparks a continual mad inspiration in them. I know it exists for I have seen it a few couples I've known in my life, but I still suspect it's rare.

So the question I put to you: is it realistic to have an expectation of this ever in your life? Or is this a gift earmarked for only a worthy few? Does it even exist at all?