Cringe worthy moments? We've all had a few. But I'm not talking about those standard embarrassing kinds of moments of everyday life. Any woman can tell you she's had the "I wore white pants on the first day or my period" moment. Mortifying at the time--oh yes. But should that truly horrifying, seriously heinous event happen, it will forever trump the accidental fart when meeting the in-laws moment every time.

Naturally, this sprung forth from some girl talk at work today. Someone was describing a bad faux pas that took place at a wedding. She described it as "cringe worthy." It struck me as more dumb than truly cringe worthy. When I pressed her on what really constituted cringe worthiness, she described the usual embarrassing litany of events. Since that seemed like a more worthwhile topic to ponder this afternoon than working on my financial forecasting, I attempted to isolate some personal cringe worthy moments.

I came up with five (for now) and I've rated them on a one to four scale, with four being the pinnacle of true cringe worthiness. As always, I prevail upon you to share and rate a few choice cringe worthy events in your lives. After all, I can't possibly be the only one making an ass of myself.

Here we go:

-The vaginal fart. I don't how it happened or what caused it, but I do know this. There is no means of muscle control that I found to squelch, defuse, smother or cease this lengthy and noisy series of nether emissions. And I was in public. Cringeworthiness: Two

-My room mate was having a party and I wanted to be with my boyfriend, so we decamped for his car. When I returned to my apartment, I breezed into the room and made small talk with the guests, including my room mate's parents. I went upstairs, turned on the bathroom light only to realize my shirt was obviously on inside out and backwards AND my underwear was hanging halfway out of my purse. Cringeworthiness: Two

-Before I got wise to rolling luggage, I used to schlep large garment bags over my shoulder when I traveled. Once while walking through the massive emporium that is the Dallas Fort Worth airport and wrestling an unwieldy garment bag, I realized that the wrap around skirt I was wearing had not only come undone but had completely fallen off...and was resting in a crumpled heap on the floor at the gate a city block length behind me. Cringeworthiness: Three

-I decided to venture into Henri Bendel's one day and try on impossibly chic designer dresses that, of course, I would never buy. I did this on a lark, but I thought I was dressed smartly enough to persuade a sales woman to let me try a Marc Jacobs dress on. I found a few, strolled like a woman of the world to the dressing room and attempted to slither into a few of these fabulous creations. One of the dresses, a stiff structured taffeta silk, slid on like armor...and was equally complicated to get off. In fact, I could not get it off. It was like one of those Chinese finger puzzles. I twisted, turned and contorted in order to slide it off my body, but it would not budge. Finally in fear of damaging the dress and having to fork over $3000 for it, I called to the haughty sales woman for help. She came in and helped me edge out of the dress, pulling it gingerly over my head. And as she did so, I noticed my reflection in the three way mirror, and realized, with horror, that the underwear I was wearing had a big hole in the ass. Cringeworthiness: Two

-Once at a formal fundraiser with a boyfriend, we were forced to listen to a series of speakers and view a short documentary. There were a bunch of people gathered in a crowd and my boyfriend was standing behind me, so when they lowered the lights to screen the documentary, I took the opportunity to reach back to feel up my boyfriend. He clearly, shall we say, responded. Only when the lights came up did I realize that my boyfriend had actually stepped away to chat with a friend and that the person behind me was a complete stranger. Cringeworthiness: Oh, that would be a Big Four

What's worse, I'm sure there are more that I forgot about. So, what about you?