Damn, I was feeling downright peevish all day long today. Maybe it was because the ensemble I wore to work looked like Kayne Gillaspie designed it. Maybe it was the Italian film crew who took over the whole street I work on with their trailers and craft service tables which made crossing the street a tremendous feat. Maybe it was the arctic blast of air conditioning in the office which forced me to sit swaddled in a blanket at my desk all day. Of course, it could have just been PMS.

Through the course of a day spent in bad temper, I began to dwell on the origins of the term pet peeve. This expression is a back formation from the 14th century word "peevish" meaning ornery or ill-tempered. Pet peeve can be categorized as "a uniquely personal irritant." So essentially, some third party behavior that can drive me to physically harm a complete stranger may not bother you at all. And vice versa.

Giving this concept further thought, I came up with my current top five pet peeves (and trust me, it was hard to limit it to five):

Lollygaggers - These are those people who dominate three quarters of the sidewalk and lumber along like they're enjoying a Sunday walk in the park. On a jammed Manhattan sidewalk. In rush hour. And I am always stuck behind these sons of bitches.

Sprawled Subway Men - These are those gents who sit on the subway with their legs open wide and spread out to such a degree that they take up two seats, even on a suffocatingly crowded train. I want to say to them, "Pal, your dick is not so big that you can't close your freaking legs!" I've never actually said this, but I've been oh so very close many times and one day, it will happen.

Cell Phone Toilet Women - What sort of cretin thinks it's normal to take a cell phone call while in the stall of a public restroom? You'd be surprised. It is not normal to carry on a conversation while taking a dump. Stop..this.

Teenage Slang - While I have no issue with teenagers or their use of slang, the idiomatic repetition of the word "like" peppered every second syllable throughout their venacular makes me absolutely insane. If the vapid conversations I have to hear represent the next generation of world leaders, I will, like, have to slap someone very hard.

I Wont Eat Anything with a Face Person- Despite my obvious love of meat, I do respect the feelings of vegetarians, vegans and the like. I like soy products too. But those self-righteous people whose micribiotic leanings are so severe as to alienate and offend an earnest, accommodating hostess aggravate me to no end. People, if you look closely, that head of cabbage may be capable of smiling...and screaming.

So don't leave a sister hanging. What are your pet peeves?